Are men really polygamous in Nature? We hear all the time that men are polygamous in nature, Civilization and rules only made men monogamous.
We know from history that Men took several wives and even had concubines and extra affairs.
To think that one of the oldest professions is prostitution. From way back centuries ago, prostitutes exist in society and they still exist. So who patronizes them, unmarried single men? Married men?
Of course all men, and I believe the majority would be married. Looking at how patriarchal the society was then. Men could do as they wanted especially if they had the resources they need.
So the question is are men really polygamous in Nature? I conducted a research and survey to help answer this question.
What is polygamy, what is polygamous?
Polygamy or polygamous is a word that is used in relation to when a man is married to more than one woman. Polygamy is when a man marries multiple wives at the same time, while polygamous is a state of a man who has more than 1 wife or who has intentions to have more than one wife.
A man can be polygamous without practicing polygamy.
With polygamy a man has a responsibility to his wives and the children they make with him, he has to be a Father, a provider, a protector, he has to provide both emotional support and financial support, train his kids to school, and be a great support system to and treat all his wives with fairness and equity.
But not the same with polygamous, polygamous is just purely a state or an intention Or act without fulfilling the contractual agreement of marriage.
This means that as a man you are a free agent.
A polygamous man is a man that engages multiple women in sexual or relationship affairs at the same time. A man would be said to be polygamous in nature if he has emotional, sexual, love, and dating relationship with multiple women all at the same time fulfilling different or same functions for him.
It becomes polygamy when he marries them culturally or legally has his wives
Polygamy and its history.
Polygamy has been the norm throughout human history, it has always been accepted for men to have multiple women, this is seen in many religions, including Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, men married more women if they wanted to.
In modern society polygamy is said not to fit in, the modern society promotes One Man and one wife, but Islam religion allows a man to marry up to 4 wives although a man can stick to one only.
In most African cultures men marry more than 1 wife, polygamy is allowed in most cultures in Nigeria, even in other cultures in Africa men are allowed to marry as many women as they want without restriction.
The claim is it is better and more responsible to keep multiple wives rather than hid them as mistresses or keep illegitimate children.
I can’t categorically say the origin of polygamy in the world, but the prominence of polygamy in Africa was seen before the pre-colonial era when the major economic activity was commercial farming since there was no Machinery then, families were required to be large so they can have enough manpower to work on their farmlands, thereby spending less money to hire an extra hand
Also, a lot of kids used to die, they were no medical diagnoses to determine couples compatibility eg Genotype tests, and there was a high rate of death among children, mothers, and women.
In addition, societal status and wealth were closely related to the amount of mouth a man feeds, which is having more wives and having a big family is a thing of pride in the old African culture.
The influence on western culture especially the Christian and European cultures sees marriage as matrimony between only one man and one woman at a time, as polygamy is offensive against the dignity and institute of marriage.
This has much more to do with the imperialism of the European culture than Christianity.
I feel it is just a form of having a simple social structure in the society than a Christian rule.
Since it is clear that African culture promotes it as it is inherent and practiced in the olden culture we can say that African men are polygamous in nature judging by our Anthropology history.
Now let’s move away from Africa and check a larger society, are Men polygamous in Nature.
Are men polygamous in Nature?
My survey was focused on men in the USA between the ages of 20-50 years, I asked just a simple question Do you have more than 1 sexual partner? I had a total of 113 responses.
61.1 % percentage of the men said they don’t have another female partner They have sex with and 38.9% of the men have more than one woman whom they have sex with.
A larger percentage of men do not have sex with more than one woman. We all know the rules on marital rights in the USA when it comes to divorce, especially on allegations of cheating. Probably if there were no stiff sanctions more men would be engaged in having a sexual relationship with other women at the same time.
Only those who are either unmarried, divorced, or who are great at keeping extramarital affairs would keep more than 1 sexual partner.
So let’s say the 38.9% of the men who have more sexual partners are either unmarried or divorced then I can boldly say that most American men are polygamous in nature. The only restrictions to exploring their sexuality are the condemnation and sanction they would face and possibly the responsibility attached to being polygamous.
Modern Day Polygamy.
Men want to eat their cake and have it, they don’t want responsibility, they want to have multiple partners that they can dismiss at any time without any repercussion.
Modern-day polygamy exists where men have children with other women and then eventually settle for different women this is the term “baby mama”
They have this woman who has kids, they pay for child support and upkeep, then have their main wife who is their legal wife, since they have a baby mama who has 1 kid or more for them, they can occasionally visit and build another family with their other woman, performing duties including emotional, sexual, financial, and protection.
In some cases, the baby mama doesn’t get married to another man. Because those kinds of relationships are always complicated, I have seen situations where the baby daddy is always overprotective of the baby mama, he doesn’t want to see other men around his kids.
He doesn’t want her to bring a man to the house because he contributes to the rent, even when he has moved on to be with another woman he still has a problem with his baby mama having a boyfriend. This is a huge trend, especially in the USA.
In places like Nigeria, Men would rather engage in extramarital affairs outside their marriage, they don’t want commitment, and if it happens that their side chick gets pregnant they would rather keep her outside their immediate family as a mistake that happened when in most cases they have been having the affair for a very long time hoping to just keep having sexual affair without thinking of the possible outcome.
Men are moved by what they see, they don’t necessarily need to have an emotional commitment before having sex with a woman as long as she’s good and healthy-looking.
Even while married it is normal to still find other women very attractive and want to chase after them, it is normal, it mostly always takes control to not act on the feeling.
However having a woman show up with a man to functions, outings, or having a woman a man can show off to his friends is a thing of pride among men we see this in celebrity lifestyles
Now when a man can then afford more than 1 woman. Other men would hail him, they are always proud of their friend. Most of them don’t see it as a problem, even those who wouldn’t engage in multiple affairs won’t have a problem with it as long as their friend can provide and keep the women apart.
Also looking at the population and the ratio of men to women, women would gladly share a man just to have a man they can call their own.
So being polygamous isn’t just about legally taking multiple women as a wife, it includes having sexual relations with another woman outside your marriage, it includes having multiple women as partners even as an unmarried man, it includes having a baby with another woman, and keeping another as a recognized wife ( if this is not as a result of divorce or Separation).
Polygamy is accepted in Nigeria and in most African cultures, polygamy is widely accepted in Islam, and in Islam practicing nations.
Muslims are allowed to marry up to four wives. In Christianity, many of God’s servants in the bible were all polygamists
although modern Christianity especially Pentecostal Christians insists that polygamy is not accepted as marriage is only exclusive between a man and a woman.
Polygamy is gradually phasing out maybe due to economic reasons, or jealousy (women have become more jealous, overprotective, and providers than they were before) and has been replaced with other things such as lesbianism, gay, baby mama, single mother, etc