Getting married is unnecessary; is there any point of getting married.

by Onyinye Ogbuka

All I had was beauty, it could be a prerequisite to people getting married but that did not work for me. I have come to this conclusion; getting married is unnecessary.

Getting married is unnecessary; her father’s daughter

The third daughter of my father and the most beautiful of all my sisters, life was quite rosy for me. I inherited my father’s fair complexion and my mother’s hourglass shape. My sisters could not hold a candle to me when it came to beauty. I was the apple of my father’s eye and maybe that was why I got away with so many things my elder sisters could never get away with. 

Whenever I went out, I was the cynosure of all eyes. Expecting mothers would always pray that their unborn children would be as beautiful as I am. Glorying in the attention was often a rush that I liked. I didn’t have to curry favours from teachers, they just liked me naturally. The only person that seemed immune to my charms was my mother, she always seemed to see through me and maybe that was why she was always hard on me.

It didn’t matter because I often had my father around to rescue me. 

Getting married is unnecessary; the ways of a woman.

With how beautiful I was, I knew the greatest asset in my life was not my intelligence but my beauty. This knowledge shaped my composure and how I carried myself. I did not just walk, I cat walked. I started to take care of my skin way before my sisters grew that consciousness. I also made sure to be every inch the feminine woman a woman is supposed to be.

Little wonder I started getting admirers in my junior high school, some of them were bold enough to come to my father’s house.

When my father noticed this, he restricted me in several ways. My sisters could freely go out but I was not afforded the same freedom. This continued until senior high when I was about to write my final exams. I knew I had to do well in my exams if I wanted to be free of the clutches of my family. The thought of spending an additional year in the house with my parents was choking. 

Getting married is unnecessary… Freedom

The lines certainly fell in pleasant places for me when I was given admission to study at a university six hours away from where my family resided. My family was against me schooling so far away but when they saw my resolve, they had to cave. A few days after my 17th birthday, I moved to my school. 

University life was the life I had always dreamed of, with freedom in different shades and sizes. I had men flocking around me and out of all of them, I picked one I imagined was fit to be my husband. We didn’t last, all he wanted was to get in between my pants and I allowed him. When he got what he wanted, he started cheating and did not have the decency to hide it. Much to my pain, we broke up and I had to move on.

I have no desire to get married

I resolved not to date not until I met Dele. Our paths crossed at the movies, and he seemed so hung up on me that I found it amusing and annoying at the same time. Dele is the ladies’ man; tall, dark and handsome with a pair of never-ending legs that seemed to command attention wherever he went. He was rich and generous and I loved that about him. Dele pestered me into being his girlfriend and even though I did not love him at first, I decided to go into a relationship with him just to have fun. Dele seemed too old for me but I did not dwell on it, I have always loved older men. The last time I tried to date within my age grade, it ended in tears, better for me to date older men who would spend on me at least before breaking my heart.

Is marriage actually necessary

Six months into our relationship, I found out Dele was forty-five and was married. I was shattered because I had come to love Dele. I almost broke up with him but he wouldn’t allow me. He threatened to kill himself if I ever left him. Dele shed tears like a baby as he begged me not to leave him, he said I made him feel young again and I brought out his romantic side. According to him, his wife was not romantic and always made him feel old. His wife did not like cuddling and all that mushy stuff and these were things he loved very much. I had difficulty making up my mind. I decided to be the one that would fill the gap in his life and everything his wife was not, I became to him.

I have no desire to get married

At some point, he started talking about divorcing his wife to marry me. I threatened that if he tried it, I would leave him, at least, that was enough to deter him. Dele took care of me, I have never seen a man as thoughtful as Dele, what my parents sent from home was peanuts compared to what Dele gave me weekly. He rented a house and furnished it tastefully so we could always have our time together without interruption. I was just a girl in my hundred level but I had levelled up and everyone in school knew that. I had to keep up pretences anytime I went home to my parents.

Getting married is unnecessary/mildstrings/Pinterest pin

Is it worth getting married

On my birthday, he bought me a car for my birthday and that led us into having unprotected sex and I got pregnant. When I told him I was pregnant, he was over the moon but I was not. From our discussion, he wanted me to carry the baby full term but I was not ready to be saddled with the responsibility of being a mother. It was bad enough I was sleeping with a married man but getting pregnant for him and intentionally keeping the baby was over the top, something my religious parents would never want to hear. Against his will, I aborted the child and it seemed like I had closed a chapter on our love story because he became distant and resentful. That marked the end of a three-year scintillating affair I had with a married man.

Getting married is unnecessary; Then chief

I moved to another state after my graduation and got a well-paying job and that was where I met Chief. Chief wanted me to be his fifth wife but I settled for the position of a side chick. Chief was generous, he bought me several properties and cars. I had to fabricate a story for my parents as to how I was making my money. I told them I encountered a woman who helped me get into the oil and gas business on a small scale. Luckily for me, they believed me. My relationship with the chief ended when he suffered a heart attack at his home and died, I wept.

After the death of Chief, I decided to get take my relationship life serious. I wanted to get married to my own man. Married men were wanting to date me but I paid them no attention. I set my sights on bachelors who were eligible for marriage.

Getting married is unnecessary… Love on the rocks

I met Stanley and he seemed perfect for me. Much to the delight of my parents, we got married. Marriage to Stanley is what I would always consider the worst mistake of my life. Stanley was nothing to write home about. Apparently, Stanley is a jobless big boy that scams people of their money. I decided to endure it thinking it was the retribution for my wildlife. We had two kids. Four years after my marriage to Stanley, I left because he physically abused me. 

Signs you will never get married

I gave myself a year to heal after which I met George. George wanted to tie the knot with me so quickly but I found it odd that a man would want to marry me so quickly despite knowing I have two kids he did not father. After sometime, my worries were unfounded because I realized that he loved me. Few months to when I was going to inform my parents I was getting married again, I found out George had another family and was going to marry me to scam me of my money, I was hurt. I made the decision to leave him when I also found out that his family did not like me and was only tolerating me because of my wealth. I found out everything when I tapped his phone and his chats.

At this point, I knew I was not fated to get married.

However, I had much luck with being a side chick and that is what I concentrated on .

I decided to date again and this time, a top politician. He treats me so well and wishes we could be married. It’s been years now and everything I have achieved I got by being a side chick. I have dated men of timber and calibre and I don’t regret it.


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