How can I learn to control my anger?

by Onyinye Ogbuka

Anger is a natural negative emotion towards something or someone that has wronged you or gone against something you think is wrong. How can I learn to control my anger.

Is it normal to get angry?

Anger is very natural, we are humans and humans are not perfect. What makes us human is our emotions and how we react to them. As humans are not perfect in life, this means you are bound to face situations that will make you angry. We experience joy, sadness, and anxiety why not anger?

However, what is not normal is when you have a wave of uncontrollable anger. It is dangerous that whenever you get angry no one can control you and ask you to calm down. Getting angry is not an issue getting angry and being unable to control yourself is the problem. 

Most times because you cannot express your anger, the anger wants to find expression, it has to be let out but what happens is that you become violent. After displaying some sort of violence, you finally regain yourself and you are shocked at the amount of damage that you have done either physically or verbally.

If you cannot control your anger, your anger is going to control you and when this happens, most times, it does not bode well for you because your anger is not supposed to control you. 

How do I learn to control my anger?

A while ago, I had a friend who could not control his anger outburst. We called him angry bird within your clique. He could be the sweetest person ever; so kind and generous. When he is angry, it’s like a volcano, anyone near would know there is an angry person around. He could not control his anger, worst, his fist.

We were all happy when he told us that he had a girlfriend. As happy as we were, we were also scared that somehow his anger was going to ruin the beautiful thing he had. But we took consolation in the fact that he loved his girlfriend so much that all could see it. It was obvious, maybe his love for her would not allow him to show her that side of him. 

We were already sighing relief here an when she ran to tell us that my friend had beat her up. It was a sorry sight to see; her face was swollen and so bruised that it hurt to be touched. We were so angry about this but we asked her to forgive him as it would never happen again.

How can I learn to control my anger?/Pinterest pin/mildstrings

Can you control your anger issues?

We called him and rebuked him about what he did, he looked remorseful and by the time we had all said our minds to him, he was crying. We thought he had changed and we felt happy to have stepped in to save their beautiful relationship.

A few months after, his girlfriend ran to us again. This time, she had been badly beaten up. We didn’t know what to do. She had left him and he went to beg her that he had changed finally. She came back and he beat her again. That was the last straw for her, she walked away.

My friend was so distraught, that he could neither sleep nor eat for days. All he could do was cry and lament his woes. We were all sorry for him but his girlfriend exit was Justified. 

He approached us with the decision to change  and he wanted it to be practical.  A friend among us recommended Mildstrings; they had helped his sister deal with her depression. He was at hesitant at first to talk to a therapist but he was determined to change and my other friend assured him it was an online therapy.

How do I better control my anger?

He started talking to the therapist at Mildstrings. Change might constant bit it’s gradual. We did not see any changes at first but with time, whenever he got angry, he would breathe in deeply or if it’s somewhere where he can walk out, he walks out. We were all surprised at his changing attitude, more like impressed and nothing made us more happier than to see our friend able to control his anger. We are all happy for him. 

It has been great seeing him on this journey of self-development. He is much better and we buddies cannot be more of him for taking charge of his life and his emotions.

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