How depression affects marriage

by Onyinye Ogbuka

How depression affects marriage?

Depression most times does not only affect the person experiencing it, it also affects those around the person.

Depression is a mood disorder that one experiences when things are not working out the way they should and things do not continue to work out over time. It could be as a result of a consistently bad day at work, loss of a job, reduced financial capacity, or more responsibilities. Depression can range from mild to severe. Depression if left unchecked can lead to suicide.

Mild depression is when the sufferer’s energy is sapped as a result of the negative thoughts that the sufferer constantly finds themselves in. This makes the sufferer’s day some sort of drudge that they have to get through thus being unable to experience and revel in the daily joys of life. This can be cured with talk therapy. 

Severe depression; if left unchecked, depression can become severe. At this point there is a reduction in functioning, the sufferer is unable to live up to their responsibilities family-wise, career-wise and societally. The sufferer has thoughts of suicide running through their mind and if they are left untreated they can commit suicide. The treatment for this level of depression includes taking antidepressants. 

Left unchecked, depression changes the outlook of the world you and your outlook on those around you. Most times, those in a relationship, romantic relationship are often shocked at how their partners change when they are depressed. A depressed partner naturally has a negative outlook on life and this makes them more prone to getting into conflict. A depressed partner is more likely to say hurtful things, they are most likely to ignore their partner. They are more likely to react irritably to small stressors. When depression is left unchecked, depression begins to affect the relationship and will most likely break the relationship or marriage if left unchecked. Experts say it is not depression that harms marriage, it is the consequences of depression. Saying hurtful things, ignoring the spouse, and reacting irritably to one’s spouse can create serious damage in the marriage and may lead to a divorce. So getting help for depression is very important not just for the sufferer but also for the spouse who has to learn how to support a depressed partner and diffuse situations.

If you can and you need a therapist, make sure to get one. You can book one on Mildstrings. Depression can be treated and if anything will help save a marriage that otherwise will experience a divorce. 

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How depression affects marriage?

Depression leaves the partner of the sufferer feeling hopeless and helpless. This is the case of one of our male clients who permitted us to share his story. When he was depressed his wife did not understand what was going on with him. The client had issues facing reality, he had financial issues, and he was not able to take care of his family the way that he wanted to and this made him start to see things negatively. Before he knew it, he had spiralled down into depression and was reacting negatively to his wife. When he came to Mildstrings, he was on the verge of divorce from his wife. She had already moved out. We had several sessions together where we were able to unearth all that plagued him. We asked him to invite his wife to some of our sessions, this was the best step because we were able to bring the woman into the know as to why her husband was reacting the way he was reacting. It took some time for them to both heal but they finally did. 

Can depression cause marriage problems?

Depression is capable of causing marriage problems this is because the other partner feels helpless with the current state of their partner; the depressed partner.

How depression affects your spouse?

If you are depressed, it can affect your partner. This is because you display attitudes that will hurt your partner like irritability, or wanting to be alone when they want to spend time with you.

How does depression affect a marriage?

  • It creates conflict
  • If left untreated, it widens the gap between a couple.
  • Broken communication

How postpartum depression affects marriage?

Postpartum depression is experienced by mostly new mums. Postpartum depression affects marriage because new mums are mostly going through all shades of negative emotions which is likely to affect the emotional state of the new mum.

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