How depression affects relationships. 

by Onyinye Ogbuka

How depression affects relationships.

Depression is not a one-time thing. Rather it’s a collection of thoughts that negatively impacts the victim’s lifestyle and relationship. When you are depressed it’s not about you, your disposition affects those around you. 

According to Dr William Ryan, below are some of the ways that you feel depressed.

  • Consistently feeling tired and you easily get tired even the smallest tired.
  • Feeling hopeless about your life and your future
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Feeling empty and worthless
  • Loss of interest in activities that you once enjoyed
  • Loss of motivation and energy to take care of yourself and others
  • Suicidal thoughts or ideation

How depression affects relationships. 

These are the ways that depression affects your relationships.

You are easily irritated; Either with family, friends or your spouse, you are easily irritated. Some of the things that they did before that did not upset or irritate you. When you are depressed, you begin to feel irritated and this can even drive you to shout or quarrel with them. This leaves you feeling worse and more depressed. On the flip side, it makes them hurt and angry. Most times, you get easily irritated at something as small as someone forgetting to turn off the light switch. When a friend was depressed she got angry at something as small as me dipping my hands into her food on a particular outing.  It hurt when she reacted so violently because she had previously did not have issues with it. 

You isolate yourself: My friend stopped me from coming to her house. Nothing hurt more than that, the day I came to her house, she refused to open the door for me asking me to go back. I had never felt so mad and embarrassed in all my life. She meted out the same treatment to her boyfriend and her family members.  When you are depressed, you want don’t want to have anything to do with anybody. You would rather spend time alone than with your loved ones.

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You don’t want to do anything that has to do with the outdoors; My friend stopped going out. She would decline invitations to events. This was highly alarming. Depression makes you avoid outdoor activities. You would want more time alone. My friend declined to hangouts, even family times were declined and much to the chagrin of her boyfriend she declined to go out with him

You don’t care about yourself anymore; When it got worse, my friend let herself go. She looked unkempt. The day we broke down her door because of her prolonged absence. Her house was a mess. This was a shock because my friend was a neat freak. When you are depressed, things that were previously important to you become less important. Your hygiene and how you look do not matter anymore.

The person harder hit was her boyfriend. The depression almost ended their relationship. 

How depression affects relationships. 

We booked a therapist for my friend. She started seeing the therapist. We all thought she was going to be like this forever but the reverse was the case; she got better over time and recovered her sunny disposition. We later found out she was suffering from clinical depression.

We all learnt to be there for her when she needed it. Not taking some of her actions to heart, such as when she got easily irritated when she desired to isolate herself when she refused to hang out and do fun stuff. Her boyfriend attended some of the therapy sessions with her and learned to be the best partner during her lows.

It was sad to see her in such a state where she needed antidepressants to recover from her depression.

It has been months and we are grateful for her. Her getting the therapy was the best option. She is better and more active. I am glad she got therapy.

How depression affects family relationships?

Depression can create a gap in communication in most families. When others do not understand what is going on with the person who is depressed, they are more likely to throw stones at the person because they feel hurt. Hurt by the sufferer not wanting to associate their self with them, snapping at them, ignoring and isolating themselves from other

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