How important are looks in marriage? Looks are very important.

by Onyinye Ogbuka
How important are looks in marriage/mildstrings/facebook

How important are looks in marriage? Looks are very important. That is if you are looking for a bed mate, not a life companion and someone to build with. I was foolish enough to think looks were very important then something happened that changed my mindset. Here is what happened.

How important are looks in a marriage… Yes, I am fault.

I am divorced, and well, I will rather be divorced than remain in a marriage with a woman without substance.

I thought I was getting married to the love of my life.

Alas, it was a fool I married, a beautiful one at that.

I have never been perfect because I am human and humans make mistakes but I am certainly better than some humans become I learn from my mistakes and I apologize if my mistakes hurt another person.

I certainly made the mistake of marrying without looking at what matters most; character.

You can blame me because I blame myself too for seeing the red flags and waving them aside.

Imagine getting married to a woman who is full of vanity.

How important are looks in marriage? A bimbo

My ex-wife is a social butterfly, I guess that was what attracted me to her. She was the cynosure of all eyes. She attracted both males and females alike and does she have a bevy of friends? Friends who have politician fathers that loot the country’s funds. Friends with fathers who are billionaires. She was friends with the creme de la crème of society. It’s one thing to have friendships like these. It’s another thing to know how to properly utilize these friendships, something she never did to build herself.

My ex-wife in front of the camera would look like the daughter of a billionaire, off the camera, she is a leech and you know what, her parents live in an uncompleted building.

How did I find out?

Well, I tell you about that later.

The day of doom

So you would ask, how did I meet her?

Well, I was unfortunate to meet her on an unfortunate day I previously thought was the best day of my life.

As a lawyer, I had just gotten off work after a stressful week. I decided to go to a five-star hotel to chill. I was lounging beside the pool when she walked in with her friends. I felt like Alice in Wonderland.

I am an introvert, I belong to the background, and makes it easier for me to assess things in a way people often don’t.

I loved her charisma, I loved that she could light up a room with her smile. I loved that she could animatedly talk and have the whole room respond to her.

She is an influencer, you really won’t call that a red flag. She was always going on vacations with her friends. That was one red flag, I was foolish enough to ignore.

We met and I was struck. She was going to be mine. 

And I made sure of that when I walked up to her. She agreed on a date which I took extra care to make romantic for her.

We went on several dates and each time

She stole my breath away or to put it more accurately, stole my sense away.

There was not too much effort on my part; the feelings were mutual. 

It was a whirlwind romance. My mother warned against her, they say you can’t advise a fool in love. I was definitely a fool in love.

How important are looks in marriage/Pinterest image/mildstrings

A flight to the Aisle

In less than six months we got married. 

We had the wedding of her choice, not minding that it ate deep into my pocket.

I wanted to give the woman of my dreams the wedding of her dreams, 

Awwwn, you will say.

Foolish would be what my friends would later call it.

You could say I was rich, I had made a name for myself in my profession but I was no billionaire.

I got her a range Rover after our wedding as a wedding gift. Guess what she gave me, don’t give me that look. I know what I am talking about. Two 10 thousand naira shirts.

It didn’t matter then but thinking of it now makes me angry. We don’t see the foolishness in some things until we don’t do them anymore.

I thought the function of a wife was to help her husband manage his resources then multiply.

But the one I married seemed intent on sinking her claws into the little I had.

My ex- wife and Asoebi

Did I mention that after our wedding, my wife attended weddings at least three times a month? 

My ex-wife would always buy the Asoebi for a wedding including that which was her business and that which was not her business. She would get the money for the Asoebi from me and I would give her. When I noticed her extravagance, I spoke to her about it and she blackmailed me emotionally. Sometimes, these Asoebis’ per one are as much as 500 thousand naira. And she would get the money for the three from me. Not to mention the expensive fashion stylist she had to patronize to sow her latest styles which she would post on her Instagram and bask in the shower of praises from strangers.

My ex-wife and Destination weddings

Was life going to get better? I was in for a long thing.

Sometimes she would want to go to the destination wedding of someone she does not know. The destination wedding would cost as much as 3million naira. I paid two times and after that, I gave up

It baffled me but she would call the money she used to sponsor herself her “influencer income”.

My ex-wife and Parties

You are definitely going to throw a stone to my head if I tell you this one. 

My ex-wife is party freak.

She is always attending parties, those Dorime parties where billionaire scammers in Lagos would pop expensive champagne. I will be honest with you, I did not know she was into this kind of thing.

She attends a lot of parties, night parties most especially. She would come back home drunk and reeking of cigarettes. What went on in those parties I never knew until later.

How important are looks in marriage… And those damned trips.

How important are looks in marriage?

She would organize trips with her friends and bill me for it. The vacation trips were always too much.

I tried keeping up but I could not because I was spending money I did not budget for. At some point, I had to talk to her about it and she would say I was not taking care of her and being the man of her dreams. I decided to stop because I knew I could never satisfy this one. So I just did the best I could and left the rest to her.

Somehow, she still managed to go on these vacations and I was foolish enough to think it was her influencer job. A vacation for each month, I was so in love I did not see the amount that was being spent.

I was glad she could afford these things for herself without billing me.

Was I in for the shocker of my life?

How important are looks in marriage? A new car?

A year after our wedding, my damned ex-wife started pressuring me to buy her a new car. I had issues with her wanting me to change her wedding car for her, so I asked her what was wrong.

Can you guess the reason? Her friend’s husband bought her friend a new car.

She was not happy because her friend was the center of discussion and another friend had jokingly remarked that her car was so out of season.

She wanted a brand new car, not second-hand. 

She said she has been itching to make a video of her tearing the nylon off the body of a brand new car.

Sorry, let me just laugh.

Do you know the amount of nonsense I’ve heard?

I need to go wash my head in a river. Maybe I can have temporary amnesia that would clear all the nonsense I have heard.

I know, you don’t need to say it, my brand of stupidity leaves me in shock.

I was going to get her a Toyota. I checked the price for a new car.

The roll of her eyes was enough to shut me up. She specified a Benz.

I went back to check the price of the new Benz. 

I laughed to my heart’s content and became sad because I realized I was married to a combination of the Cankerworm, Caterpillar, and Palmer worm.

I declined her request. She threw tantrums.

Benz and Shopping sprees

She stopped going to weddings and shopping sprees.

Oh, did I mention the shopping sprees?

I had to start hiding my cards in my office. 

The day I gallantly gave her my card, the money in my account became like the chaff in the wind. 

I barely resisted the urge to slap out the foolishness in her.

She was hugging me that day and telling me she looks forward to more of this.

In my mind, I said, “that portal has closed”.

After two months, I declined buying her the car. My wife acquired a new whip.

The latest Benz.

Since I married her and found out the kind of life she lives. I have not been happy with her, she hurts me sometimes with her actions. So, I decided to leave her to her devices to avoid the heartache that comes with it. For the first time in our two years together. I wanted to find out how she got that money. So I asked.

She said she got the money by not going to weddings for two months and not going on her vacations. She also added she invested her money in a business venture. 

I did not believe her but I masked it and celebrated her.

As you should expect, social media was on fire.

How important are looks in marriage? A can of disgusting worms

I was going to make my findings and get to the root of the issue.

I tapped her phone. I wanted to know what she does.

I was in for the most unpleasant shocker of my life. 

She got the car by doing a threesome with some Nigerian Senators.

She always has sexual relations with Honourables, Senators Alhajis. They would sleep with her and give her the money she claimed was from her influencer income.

They have been the one funding her lifestyle.

I was shattered, all for what. 

To think I have been sleeping with her without a condom.

I knew that our marriage was over but I could not understand why a girl with rich parents would prostitute herself like that.

I searched further and found out that her parents were in a village.

She had paid some people to act as her parent on our wedding day, introduction, and traditional marriage.

This was beyond me.

And so I called it quits.

She was not remorseful as she moved out of our house to a place a senator had rented for her.

Calling her out on social media was of no use, it would affect me too and I didn’t need that kind of attention.

All the things I got for my ex-wife in an attempt to satisfy her, I would have invested in building a five-star hotel and earned a good profit. 

Well, of course I fucked up.

I have learned my lessons and I hope you did too from my story.


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