You can either take it or leave it, marriage most importantly childbirth does a number on the women who go through it. It has a way of knocking the air out of your lungs or even knocking you down. Will you allow it to keep you down? No. Here is how to be attractive to your husband again.
How to be attractive to your husband again. Conflict.
I have been noticing it for a while now and I feel sad that it has to come to this. The spark in my marriage is gone and I don’t know what to do. My husband is no longer attracted to me. He doesn’t even want to have sex with me, he claims he is not in the mood. Thoughts of him cheating flutter into my mind and I become angry.
When he comes back at night, I feed him and allow him to sleep off before I take hold of his phone. His phone is passworded, I crack my head and try my date of birth and it opens. I don’t know why my heart fluttered. I go to his WhatsApp and I open all his chats. I am puzzled because nothing is incriminating. I go to his call log and messages too and there is nothing there. I am more confused. If he is not sleeping with me and he is not cheating how then does he relieve himself. I am so engrossed in my search for evidence that I don’t know when he comes up behind me.
How to be attractive to your husband again. Caught in the act.
“What are you doing with my phone?”, I jerk in fright and his phone slips off my hands. He bends and picks it up.
“Nothing”, I reply after the cat has released my tongue. I feel so trapped.
He asks the same question again.
I decide to come clean, “I thought you are cheating on me so I am looking for evidence.”
He has a look of unbelief on his face. “Unlike other men, I take my vows seriously”, he ground out.
“Then why are you not attracted to me again? You don’t even initiate sex and when I try to, you deny me and claim you are tired.”
How to be attractive to your husband again. Confessions
He is taken aback a bit, “I am not denying you because I don’t understand what is wrong with you. The last thing I want to do is to body shame you but this is the hard truth. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Do you know the amount of food that you consume in a day? Surely, my money belongs to you but ever since you had our third child, you have been binge eating. The last time I spoke to you about it, you claimed I did not understand you. I did not understand you and I was made sure to avail myself of you during pregnancy and post-pregnancy?”
“Did you forget I got you gym access and you threw it in my face, now you say I am not attracted to you? I know what is not attracting me and it’s your unhealthy life habits and how they reflect on your body. I tried to help you with that but you did not appreciate my efforts. If I don’t keep myself fit and I come to you with a big pot belly, would you be attracted to me with the sight of my pot belly?”
“I appreciate you taking on the sacrifice to bear the kids. For that, I will be ever grateful but please, I believe you can do much better. I have a lot of chances to cheat on you, I have ladies that throw themselves at me but I do not take what they offer. As I said earlier, I take my vows seriously. The ones that manage to get my number, I block them with immediate effect. I had a thing with one of them, I was catching feelings but I caught myself in time and blocked her because she knows I am married. Let me remind you again, I have pledged allegiance to you so this is me enduring everything. What I don’t understand is why I am doing it. I guess that is what happens when you love someone so much and you have pledged forever to them.
By the time he is done, I am crying and I wrap my arms around myself. He makes to go off to the bedroom but he is conflicted between comforting me or leaving me to my tears. He finally stoops and holds me in his arms while I mutter, “I will change, I will change.”
When I am spent, we go back to bed and I lie on his chest. I open my eyes the next morning to discover he has gone to work, he took care of the kids and drove them to school. I drag myself out of the bed and get to work. During my lunch break, I go meet a colleague who gave birth and got her weight back immediately. I ask for her advice and she gives me a list of things to do. I set my goals and I feel pumped.
The next week, I go register myself at a gym. A personal trainer is expensive so I depend on the YouTube.
If I have to lose weight successfully, I have to deal with stress. My husband has never seen the need for a washing machine. From my savings, I get a washing machine. I prevail on my husband to get me a better refrigerator so I don’t have to cook every time. Doing this certainly spared me time and effort, my husband confessed to how useful it is.
How to be attractive to your husband again. Process
I make efforts in changing my diet by increasing my intake of fruits and fibre and reducing my intake of junk and carbonated drinks. I also get a waist trainer to help with the fat in my belly, coupled with my exercise journey, my weight loss journey is much faster. I can fit into some of my old clothes. I have not gotten to where I want to get to but I am happy with my progress and the progress is steady.
I will go the whole nine yards to ensure I keep his eyes on me constantly. He is taking note of my efforts and he has that look in his eyes, I am acting like I don’t know. If we are going to have sex again, it has to blow his mind off.
How to be attractive to your husband again. On fleek
I start on the last segment of my great body operation. I made a friend recommend to me some great skincare products including vitamin C serum. I start applying them on my skin. It takes a while for the results to show but it’s spot on.
I work on my vagina too, based on great recommendations, I got a pack of Yoni tightening herbs. I sit on the steam and allow it to work its magic. I combine the steaming with consistent Kegel exercises.
On arriving at my desired weight. I do a bit of wardrobe makeover; skimpy skirts, body hugs, bomb shorts and lingerie are added to my wardrobe. My husband is hard to keep off because he can’t seem to take his eyes away from my body. I can’t undress in his presence or else he will jump me. I compensate by giving him a blowjob on many occasions. He is frustrated and at the same amused. He says he loves watching my progress and would gladly wait till I am ready.
Nine months after I began my weight loss journey, I stand before the mirror and all I see is a lethal woman. Skin, body, clothes and health are on fleek. It’s not been an easy journey but I am glad I took that journey.
How to be attractive to your husband again. Romance
When I am ready, love is in the air already because Valentine’s is around the corner. I plan a Staycation. Valentine is on Saturday. On Friday evening, I go drop the kids at my sister’s who is only too happy to have my kids take her kid’s attention away from her.
I come back home and make enough food to last the weekend. My husband came back to a cozy, dimly lit house. He made his way towards the room. I am lying on the bed with my hands supporting my head. I am dressed in an erotic red lace lingerie that glitters under the light and shines against my black skin. I greet him with a sultry Happy Valentine voice. I have erotic songs playing in the background. I see his throat constricting, he is obviously turned on. I get off the bed and I watch his eyes glaze all over my body. I go to him, plant a kiss on his lips and that is all he needs to take the lead. He holds me by the bum and grinds himself against me while kissing invading my mouth. I relinquish all control to him and take all he has to give.
In a blink of an eye, I find myself on the bed and he is grinding against me. He takes off my lingerie rather unceremoniously but I don’t mind. He says he is sorry that I just unleashed the beast in him. Before I know it, he has rammed into me and is pounding furiously whilst muttering how tight and sweet I am.
His eyes are on me as I meet thrust for thrust. He lowers his head to my breast and uses his mouth on me. It’s passionate lovemaking. It feels like Deja Vu, wow childbirth does a number on women. I have rediscovered myself and with that knowledge, I clench my vagina muscles around him and he looks like I have strangled him. He looks at me and smiles as he spanks my ass.
In a few minutes, he becomes more aggressive and we both come undone when he plays with my clit. He rolls away breathing heavily while I struggle to catch my breath. He supports his head with one hand and looks down at me, we smile and he confesses how much he loves this while gesturing to my body. I give him a peck. I try to get up but he jerks me back and we start all over again. I let out a giggle.
We spend the night and weekend just sexing, eating and exploring ourselves. It’s beautiful. The weekend is over and he is dragging his feet to work. I send him to work with promises of heavy sexting. I walk into my office in euphoria and it is elevated a notch when people are giving me appreciative looks and complimenting me left, right and centre. I spend the day wet and horny because someone is sexting me.
Deciding to work on me is one of the best decisions I made. My husband and I are more in sync. It’s always electric around us, communication is no more stilted. He is so enamoured by my body that he planned a getaway for us in an expensive hotel. It’s amazing and this is how I like it.
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