Love has a different meaning for a woman as it is also different for a man. A woman sees love as care, attention, support, romance, affection, and so on. For a Man, Love can simply mean care and respect.
Not being emotionally available for your woman is a red flag that would shatter the bond and birth an unhappy woman. There can be so many reasons to break up or leave a relationship ranging from abuse, cheating, violence, and so on.
On the top of my list today is emotional availability, For a woman to break up because of emotional unavailability, it has to be that she is tired of taking and making excuses for the man’s negligence. Women don’t break up just because of a single mistake, but because of a mistake that has become a habit.
After many complaints hoping to see a result, it seems like he keeps repeating the same thing over and over, which can be emotionally draining. The best way out for your own sanity is to leave or move on voluntarily to someone who would give you the emotional support you need.
To surmount the courage to break up with a man is not easy. Here I will share signs that tell you your man is emotionally unavailable and how to break up without feeling guilty.
I have observed from personal experience that most men who are emotionally unavailable for their women are either manipulative or cheats.
If a man truly loves and cares about you, he would put you first. He would take out time to do things that would make you happy
Later in this article, I shared signs that show you are in a one-sided relationship and your man is not there as he should be in a relationship.
Manipulation is a trick a man uses to make you feel like you don’t know what you are saying or you are always overreacting whenever you bring up an issue that borders you.
A manipulative man is always never predictable but one trait they have for sure is that they are emotionally unavailable when you need them the most.
He blames you for certain issues especially when you need him to reason with you to make you feel better when you are going through a situation
Signs to know a man is emotionally unavailable for you
1. He is not there to give you emotional support when you need him
2. He gives excuses whenever you complain of his inadequacies
3. He never agrees he is wrong, he would rather pick a fight with you than apologize
4. He places his own needs over yours.
For example, you are having a conversation about something disturbing you then you speak to him about it. Rather than sympathize with you he overrides it with his own issues making it bigger than yours.
5. He doesn’t care how his words would make you feel, he speaks to you without filtering his words
6. He is only concerned about his own happiness
7. He does not put in the effort to make you happy or loved on your special days ( birthdays, anniversaries)
8. He doesn’t check on your as often as you do, either call or text. He probably checks on you once in 3 days saying he is very busy( if you really matter he would create time to talk to you)
9. He accuses you of not calling him if he’s the first to call you
The list is endless but a man that makes you feel alone in your relationship or makes you question if he loves you is not emotionally available for you
Steps to breaking up without Hurting
1. Agree that he is emotionally unavailable: the first step to breaking up with him is for you to agree that he really is not there for you. You are putting in so much effort without getting any emotional support or care in return
2. Decide he is not a good fit for you, you know this by weighing your options.
Would you rather take his unavailable attitude or you will leave your life and be with someone who cares and is always there to make you happy
3. Make up your mind to let him go- this can be hard to do, It could take weeks or months before you make that decision to let him go and move on with your life. However take it slow, if the good he does for you out weights the bad, and you have a gut feeling that things would get better then you can hold on a bit
4. Reduce your emotional dependence on him. Try to cut down the number of times you call him, break off from being so emotionally connected or reliance on him, get your emotional support from someone or something else. Or better still learn to be your own support system
7. Have a conversation with him, make him realize you are breaking up with him, and explain your reason for wanting a breakup.
Don’t sound emotional or weak while having the discussion, remember most men who are emotionally unavailable can be manipulative, he could try to hijack the conversation from what you are saying to revolve around him and be the victim which would only stress you out and make you look like a fool
8. Give an ultimatum: it’s either he changes or loses the relationship, you could give a month or 2 to see changes that could make you remain with him or not.
The process of breaking up can be an emotional roller coaster, you are torn between thinking about the good side of him and the other good attributes he has that you get confused if you are actually making the right decision.
Once you break up it is not always easy to go back to ask him to take you to back him.
As much as you are entitled to your feelings and your emotions, he also is entitled to his. You can’t be toying with him by breaking up then asking for him to come back to you.
You need to know what you want if his emotional unavailability is enough reason to break up with him.
If you have any messages you would like to share with me concerning your relationship you can email me at sextherapist@mildstrings.com
