Love grows, love also dies, the same way you fall in love you could also fall out of love, where you don’t find your spouse attractive again, and you want to restore the love and attraction you once shared.
The attraction which is the bedrock of matrimonial love could be lost and the once sweet marriage and love would turn sour when you don’t find your husband attractive anymore. You begin to question what happened ? was I blind when I fell in love? how did I end up marrying him? or if I had known he would turn out like this I wouldn’t have married him.
You weren’t physically blind when you married your husband you only loved blindly and they say love is blind. When you are in love you don’t think of flaws, you don’t think of inadequacies, you don’t think of the future, you are only in the present and in love with the moment and the time you share.
It is painful not to love your spouse anymore because even if you don’t find your spouse attractive again, you still care about their happiness you want your wife to be happy, you wouldn’t want to just allow her hurt because you don’t find her attractive again.
You once shared a special bond, you used to be her knight and shining armor, so it is hard not to still love. You are fighting your emotions, you still care and love but you don’t find your wife or husband attractive again, and you don’t want to leave.
If you want another chance to feel what you use to feel for her/him and to be in love again, then continue reading, because this post is detailed in rekindling your love with your spouse. Read Some Hidden Things You Need To Know About Marriage
- Here are steps to take to find your spouse attractive again.
- Take a trip down memory lane:
- Talk things through with your spouse
- Identify what changed:
- Be patient and be ready to work on yourself and your spouse.
- Starve your distraction and feed your reality to find your spouse attractive again.
Here are steps to take to find your spouse attractive again.
Take a trip down memory lane:
Sit down to remember how you met, things you shared, what got you attracted to your spouse when you met, reminisce about the old days, how you loved, cared and cherished everything she /he did. You need to remember the days you laughed, cried, smiled together, this would help you remember how you felt when you used to be in love.
Be in sober reflection of these moments. You can visit places you loved to visit together alone just to feel your spouse’s absence, we generally don’t appreciate what we have until we lose it. You need to feel what it is like to be alone in that space where you used to love and romance each other, just be alone in other for you to remember the good old days.
Taking this trip down the memory lane would help you in triggering that bond that is lacking and causing you to feel unattracted to your husband or wife. Once you can ignite that bond you are one step closer to finding your spouse attractive again.
Read your old conversations and letters, identify what made you fall in love in the first place, and hold unto it, this would make you vulnerable to see that your spouse is the same person but you are just acting to be unattracted again because of your selfish reasons.
which would hurt your wife or husband, because she has chosen to keep to her vows to love you and honor you even in good times and bad times.
Talk things through with your spouse
You should both sit down to talk, let your husband or wife know what you are going through with your emotions towards him.
Your husband needs to know you don’t find him attractive again, so he can understand your reactions towards him, this would make him understand that you are going through a phase so as not to escalate things to further complicate the situation you are having.
If you don’t communicate your emotions this would not solve anything rather it would create a rift between you that could cause some other irreconcilable issue that can lead to divorce.
For example, if you don’t find your spouse attractive again and you don’t communicate this with her, she would not know what you are feeling, she would continue to be herself do things she normally does which could become upsetting to you, she, in turn, complains of your attitude, you then say she nags a lot.
You both don’t want to speak to each other then you begin to find fault in everything she does, and eventually just leave the marriage, you don’t want this, so need to communicate.
Have a heart-to-heart communication on why you don’t find your spouse attractive again, bear it all out, cry, sob, yell but make sure you put out your emotions in a communicable manner and talk things through with your spouse.
Identify what changed:
In other to find your spouse attractive again you need to identify what change in your husband or wife that made the attractive feeling go away, could it be overweight, lack of social life, or you are currently seeing someone exciting that is making you less attracted to your spouse.
You need to identify it, if you don’t identify it, there won’t be a way to solve it, and rekindle the love again.
Most spouses find their partners unattractive when they begin to see someone else who is showing them a new excitement they don’t get from their partner.
Maybe the new acquittance, cares a little too much than their husband, or listens, advises, or supports more than their partner, so you begin to see a different light and feel your partner doesn’t fit into the feeling of excitement.
You need to identify the exact reason. If you don’t find your spouse attractive anymore due to their character, just try to sit and identify the exact character that is causing the fall out in your love life before you can work to rekindle your love again.
Be patient and be ready to work on yourself and your spouse.
If you want to find your spouse attractive again, you have to be patient and be ready to work things out.
Have the attitude and mentality that you want things to work out. Remember no one is perfect and change is constant. People change, situations change but want matters is your willingness to make things work out, to rekindle your love and attraction for your spouse.
Don’t see your husband or wife as rigid that he/she won’t change, when your wife or husband sees the severity of the issue that it could cost the marriage they would put in work to see that the love is restored.
Patience is very important on your part, it is not easy to change from what you have always been to another person, just because you want to rekindle your partner’s attraction.
Probably your wife used to be slim and sexy before you married her, but now after 3 kids she has added weight, she wears more comfortable clothes that don’t accentuate her shape, and now she has to work on herself to look more attractive to you, you have to give her time.
Same for a wife, if you don’t find your husband attractive due to his weight or appearance you have to give him time to work on himself, while you keep encouraging him.
You should also work on yourself because you are also not perfect, your spouse has decided to overlook all your flaws to still be attracted to you and loves you. Patience will help you to find your spouse attractive again.
Starve your distraction and feed your reality to find your spouse attractive again.
The final step to finding your spouse attractive again is to starve your distractions, take your mind away from all those thoughts that make you feel unattractive to your spouse.
For example, she’s lazy, he’s fat, she doesn’t know how to cook, he is not romantic, he snores, she doesn’t know how to dress, he is uncaring, he talks too much, he drinks too much, she has body odor, she’s not educating herself, he’s too complacent, she’s dirty and so on.
You have to starve all those thoughts and distractions that are making you unattractive to your spouse And focus on feeding your reality with want you want or want will make you attracted to your spouse again.
If your spouse doesn’t know how to dress, focus on getting clothes that would look good on him or her, if your spouse is lazy, focus on helping to be productive, get her/him extra help so she can have extra time to get active.
If your husband is complacent focus on motivating him to go the extra mile.
Focus on what would bring back the attraction for you and this would help you rekindle your love again.
Work on making your spouse better to fit into the attractiveness you want, this will bring back your bond, because while doing this, you will be spending more time together, you will be thinking of ways to make yourselves happy and attracted to each other.