How To Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart

by Ben Danor

Many people don’t know how to forgive someone who broke their hearts. Forgiving someone who broke your heart might be a little difficult but it is something you should do. Holding on to the past will do you no good. Being hurt by someone who meant the whole world to you is no doubt very painful, it takes a lot to get through the trauma. 

However, hating them is not the best way to deal with a breakup. In fact, not forgiving someone who broke your heart would make matters worse. Like they say, “hate is too heavy, let it go”. You will find it hard to move on if you’re still yet to forgive that ex who broke your heart. 

A happy life is impossible without forgiveness. The hatred you have for someone who broke your heart might later affect your future relationships. Some people are single today because they didn’t forgive their ex who broke their hearts. 

When they meet a new partner, they believe all of them are the same and subconsciously give their new partner wrong signals that could make them lose interest in the relationship.

You need to forgive and heal from previous heartbreaks if you want to enjoy your future relationships. If this is not done, your future relationships and even marriage might be affected. 

You claim to have moved on but you haven’t forgiven your ex, do you think you have truly moved on? If you want to move on successfully after a breakup, you need to have forgiven your ex for whatever they did to you. If you don’t, the moving on process is never complete. 

Why should I forgive someone who broke my heart?

I believe this question must have crossed your minds at a point in time. There are several reasons you should forgive someone who broke your heart. Let me start by asking this question, what exactly would you gain by not forgiving the person? 

Forgiveness makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Some people have gone through tougher situations yet they forgive the person who hurt them. Sometimes, the cause of one’s unhappiness is the inability to forgive people. Forgive people to live a happy life. 

According to research, forgiveness can improve one’s mental health and physical health. It has also been discovered to reduce not only depression but even mortality rate. This literally means you tend to live longer if you forgive people who offend you.

Here are some hints that may be helpful as you embark on the journey of forgiving someone who broke your heart. Put them in mind, attempt them and they will definitely work!

How To Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart

How To Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart

1. Reconcile And Make Peace With Them Even If You’re Not Getting Back

To start with, forgiving someone who broke your heart doesn’t mean you should get back together. This has been the sole reason many people don’t want to reconcile with their exes or someone who broke their heart. 

You should be mature enough to forgive people even when you’re sure that the relationship has wrecked. 

Even if you are not getting back with them, reach out to them and make peace. Instead of hating them, talk things out with them and get over any grudge between the two of you. 

You never can tell, your paths might later not cross each other till eternity. End your relationships with people on a good note even if it is someone who broke your heart. 

I bet you don’t want to end your last meeting with someone on that note even if it’s someone who broke your heart. 

The first thing to do if you want to forgive someone who broke your heart is reconcile with them. If you have blocked them on your social media handles, unblock them and reach out to them. 

Make peace with them and create a form of friendship. However, do not let the friendship go too far. 

If you have reconciled , forgiving someone who broke your heart becomes an easy task. It’s hard to forgive someone you haven’t reconciled with. 

2. Make a Decision To Forgive Daily

If you are the type who doesn’t forgive people who offend you, you will likely find it hard to forgive someone who broke your heart. Forgiveness is not something that happens immediately, it takes time. 

People who are used to forgiving won’t find it hard to Forgive someone who broke their hearts. Even if they did, it’s because they were really in pain. Despite being pained, they can easily forgive since it’s something they have been doing for years. 

If you can’t forgive someone who did Kurt things for you, how will you forgive someone who broke your heart? You need to embrace forgiveness if you want to forgive that ex who broke your heart and made you cry. 

You can start by forgiving people around you daily when they offend you. Forgive them with a pure heart and forget whatever they did to you. You can call their attention to what they did and tell them  their actions didn’t go well with you. 

If you table this down well, they will likely apologize. Do this until forgiveness becomes a habit. If you can easily forgive people around you when they offend you, you can forgive someone who broke your heart, it will only take a little more work. 

3. Focus on The Good Things They Did For You

This is the mistake many of us make, we tend to focus on people’s negative side than the good side. 

Several Studies have shown that bad memories are easier to remember. Instead of focusing on how your ex broke your heart, focus on the good things they did for you to make forgiveness easier and quicker. 

The more you think about that heartbreak, the less you want to forgive them. Why should you focus on their bad sides? What about those days they stood by you and treated you like a king/Queen? What about those days they were a shoulder to rest on? These good memories are things you should think about if you want to forgive them. 

If you hold on to those bad memories, you won’t be able to forgive them. If you can remember those nice memories you shared and can hold on to that, forgiving someone who broke your heart becomes very easy and possible. If you are still struggling with forgiving that person who broke your heart, try this out, I’m certain it will work!

4. Remember You’re Not Perfect

Remembering that you are human and not perfect should help you easily forgive someone who broke your heart. 

This would constantly remind you that you offend people and they forgive you. So, you should do the same when someone forgives you. 

You can see your ex’s decision to cut off the relationship as a bad thing but they might not see it as something bad. The irony is that you might be having sleepless nights and experience discomforts because you don’t want to forgive someone who broke your heart. The person on the other hand has forgiven you, moved on and is currently living life to the fullest. Forgiving someone who broke your heart will give you peace. 

If people around you can forgive you when you wrong them, why then should you stick to the past and not forgive someone who broke your heart. 

Our imperfections are the reason we offend people, forgiving people is the best way to fill this vacuum. If we forgive people when they hurt us, we tend to look perfect. 

4. Don’t Regret, Take Note of The Lessons

Breakups are painful and tend to bring tears to one’s face. However, do not regret your actions, you should take note of the lessons. Regret will not help matters but worsen them. Consider everything that happened as life lessons. 

Don’t let your mistakes weigh you down, they should serve as a lesson. These lessons might be of great help in the future. Other people can even learn from your mistakes and have a happy relationship or even marriage. 

Instead of regretting your actions and inactions, channel the energy into other things. You can decide to write a book containing your mistakes and the lessons you learned. This could open you to another space that could change your life completely. 

The heartbreak should be seen as an eye-opener to how relationships work, don’t call them regrets, call them experiences. You can share these experiences with a community like mildstrings, we’re are always here to hear you out. Your lessons could save hundreds of relationships and marriage if you share them. 

If you see the heartbreak as an experience, you will find it easy to forgive the person who broke your heart. Don’t regret meeting your ex, be grateful for those experiences instead. 

How To Forgive Someone Who Broke Your Heart

Final Words

According to research, forgiveness is important for emotional healing. It’s normal to have pains in your life, everyone has one thing they are battling with. In the midst of all these, find something that gives you joy and happiness; I believe you don’t want to live in pain till eternity. 

Sometimes, you have to understand that maybe the relationship was not working for your partner and he/she has chosen to break up. Being in an unhealthy relationship will not work for both parties; it will always go from one problem to another.

Focus on that person or thing that gives you joy. For some, it’s a new partner while it’s charity giving for some. Look for that thing or person that brings a smile to your face and put your mind on them. 

You deserve to be happy regardless of what life is throwing at you. Don’t make things more difficult for yourself by not forgiving that person who broke your heart. Can you do me a little favor? Chat that ex today and make peace with them. 

Have you ever struggled with forgiving someone who broke your heart? How did you overcome it? Other people can learn from your story, please share them with us in the comments section. If you find this article helpful, please do well to share. 

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