How to handle a lying cheating partner? Do you Endure or just let him/her go? If you take a walk, it means you know your worth and if you decide to endure, it means you don’t believe you deserve better, and if you don’t believe it, sincerely, you will find it hard to appreciate the gold you are while you keep trying to fit in with a stone.
Stones that would hurt you and leave you bruised. I did not believe I deserved better and maybe that was why I continued to pay dearly for it until better came my way. After ten years, how did I handle my lying cheating partner? Did I endure or did I take that walk?
How to handle a lying cheating partner (A bit of Cinderella… I want shoes).
I met my ex when I was serving. He was into business, buying and selling women’s shoes. It was when I went to buy shoes at his shop, I met him.
While I was there trying to beat down the price of a shoe so it could fit into my budget, he struck up a conversation with me and introduced himself as Ola. The conversation became personal and we had to exchange contact. He sold me the shoes at a discount because I would not take them for free.
When you call…
When I got home, he messaged me and from there, we started talking. I was charmed by him; he was friendly and playful and could make me laugh. This made me like him a lot. We became tight and I would often go to his shop and laugh while he flirts with the ladies who would come buy shoes.
Alice in wonderland
Three months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. He was happy, I was also happy. It was beautiful at the beginning, was it going to become sour at the end?
We were inseparable, he would call me every 2 hours. His way of showing attention was over the top and this often made me feel warm. He was everything I wanted in a man.
Trouble in paradise?
Soon we started having sex and he was so good that most often, it would be difficult to say no to him. We had dated for 6 months before I found out that he was cheating on me.
Sometimes he would come to my house for a sleepover. Whenever he does this, I know it’s going to be marathon sex all through the night. So I take extra care to make sure he is well-fed and I also look good enough to eat.
I am of an average height, light in complexion, a bit on the busty side, and have straight legs. He came over that night and as usual, we ate. When he was done eating, we both retired to my bedroom where he ravished me for a long while before we slept off.
I woke up to ease my bladder in the middle of the night. On my way back from the toilet, I almost tripped on his jean trousers. A light was flashing on and off from inside his jeans. I brought out what was flashing the light and it was a phone.
I had never seen this kind of phone before with him. A message up and I opened it, it was a girl warning him to pick up her call.
How to handle a cheating partner_First time, then what?
Curiosity got hold of me, I opened the message, and it was like opening a can of worms that were not edible. I could not take this. I silently sat down at the edge of the bed and kept looking at the man I claimed to be in love with.
He was sleeping quite soundly, if only he knew his secrets were out.
I wept silently.
He turned to hold me in his sleep and discovered the side of my bed was empty. This woke him up, he looked around the room before his gaze fell on my tear-stricken face.
Immediately, he crawled towards me to hold me whilst asking me what was wrong. I resisted him and pushed him away. His gaze fell on the phone beside me, he knew his cover had been blown. He tried to beg and I asked him to get out of my house. He stood, dressed and left. However, he kept pestering me with calls and showing up at my house.
Beyond me, is my love for you
I was devastated and did not know what to do, did not want to talk to him, and yet I missed him so much. I tried to move on without him, it was hard and I decided to forgive him. He apologized and explained that he was sorry. He promised never to do it again and assured me the girl had aborted the baby.
I was able to trust him again after a while.
Running in circles
Again, I caught him cheating and this time it was on a phone call I picked on his behalf. We fought and he apologized.
I did not know it was going to be a never-ending cycle. I would catch him cheating, and he would beg me and I would take him back.
At some point, my friends were fed up with our constant fight and begged me to leave him. I didn’t want to leave him because I thought no one could love me the way he loved me. I stayed in the relationship enduring his cheating ways.
Waiting for you
I found solace in the fact that I was his favorite and he would always come back to me. I met him when I was twenty-five, fours years into our relationship, I brought up the issue of marriage and he promised to act on it the next year.
The next year came and went, he did nothing.
When I clocked my 30th birthday, he threw a big birthday bash for me. I was so happy. No one had ever done something like this for me before.
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A few days after my birthday bash, I found out he was sleeping with my friend. He begged me desperately and I fought with my friend and broke our friendship. I refused to take him back for 6 months but he kept coming around and was always checking up on me.
It was difficult to let go and I went back to him.
How I handle my lying cheating man_Yes…Maybe No
We continued dating and he would always postpone putting the ring on my finger. I clocked 33 and threatened to leave him if he does not take a step. He planned a proposal for me.
I tried to act excited but I was not.
My love for him did not burn strongly like before, I dreaded the idea of spending forever with him, and I was tired of his cheating ways. However, I was old and needed to be married, besides, this what I had always wanted.
I wanted happiness however I knew I would possibly spend my entire marital life fighting off women but saying no would be shooting myself in the leg.
I said “yes”, amidst my doubts.
A year and half passed by without him taking futher steps to seal the deal.
Breakfast is served, Bon appétit
One morning, I woke up to someone banging on my door, I opened the door and it was a friend. She did not allow me to usher her in before she showed me the pictures of my ex wedding another woman. I was shattered beyond words.
For weeks, I was unable to go out. A relationship of ten years gone just like that. I was ashamed to go out. My story had spread like wildfire. I was depressed and on the verge of committing suicide.
My family found out and came to rescue me. They broke down my door and had to keep me with them.
Back to One, A sprint to Hundred
I started to pick up the pieces little by little.
The first point of action was to get a therapist. He advised me to trash every source and image of him. I blocked him on all my social media channels. Deleted his number. Changed my sim. Got a new sim and a new phone. It was hard but I was able to pull it off, it took a while.
When I clocked 37, I had fully picked up the pieces of my life. Now, I was whole and happier, and more beautiful.
I met another man, whom I fell in love with much to my chagrin. By this time, I had developed a healthy dose of self-esteem. I made my terms and conditions clear at the onset of our relationship. We dated for six months and it was like a breath of fresh air. I had pushed marriage to a secluded corner of my mind, with the intention of living my best life.
I was much more happier.
At the end of six months, he proposed marriage and I said yes.
Within three months, I was married.
It has been a beautiful experience three years down the line. I am married to one of the most faithful and wonderful men any woman would ever ask for.
Again? No, I know I deserve better
I came across my ex again when he chatted me up. I politely told him I was not interested and blocked him off.
Truly, I felt nothing for him instead pity welled up inside of me for the woman that would go through what I would go though. I am glad I left to enjoy to what I deserved.
Yes, I handled a lying cheating partner by deciding to walk away and not look back.
IF YOU HAVE A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE, WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU, REACH OUT TO US VIA sextherapist@mildstrings.com
