How to heal myself after a breakup; jilted by my fiance

by Onyinye Ogbuka

She stood up with tears and a ruined make-up face, Kate made her way out of the house. By now, her parents were at her fiance’s house. She made to get into the car but was held by the arm and directed into another car where she was made to sit in the passenger seat. She was quiet and sorrowful. How to heal myself after a breakup.

How to heal myself after a breakup… Where is my man?

“What did you say? Kate asked. She felt annoyed hearing this kind of news now. A stickler for time, Kate was already in the church, in the car waiting to be called in when her bridesmaid told her that her fiance, Shayo was not in church. What the hell was going on? She thought. She brought out her phone from the clutch in her hands and dialled his number, it was not going through. The time was ten and the wedding was supposed to have started by nine-thirty.

Kate was worried, she was already praying in her heart that nothing would happen to the love of her life. His number was not going, she dialled the best man’s number but it was going through. She was getting worried already.

When Kate could not hold it anymore, she got down from the car and stood beside the church entrance. She saw people seated, muttering to themselves. The priest was outside the church conversing with her parents, they had worried gestures. Kate approached her parents and on sighting her, they stopped the conversation with the priest. 

Kate paced around the church premises frantically as her parents tried to calm her down. When the clock struck eleven, Kate rushed into her car and drove out of the church with some people running after her to stop her. Kate drove mindlessly to Shayo’s house, she got to his house and barged in. 

How to heal myself after a breakup… Unbelievable evidence

The door was open and some things were missing from the sitting room, picture frames of her fiance were not where they used to be, it was missing. Kate sped into the bedroom and flung his closet open, his clothes were not there anymore. She collapsed on the floor holding her hands to her face, it was a lie, a big fat lie, she had to be dreaming. She needed someone to wake her up from this nightmare. As soon as she started to cry, Shayo’s family members came rushing into Shayo’s bedroom to behold the empty state of the closet. There was no other proof, her fiance had jilted her and put her and his family to shame.

Kate remained on the floor for what seemed to be the longest time. She was numb to the cacophony of voices that floated around her. She badly wanted to wake up from this dream, she thought to herself as tears cascaded down in quick successions. It was unbelievable, she had talked to Shayo last night, and he told her loved her. Kate racked her head for any clue as to why he jilted her but nothing was adding up, nothing at all.

How to heal myself after a breakup… Painful realities

She stood up with tears in her eyes and a ruined make-up face, Kate made her way out of the house. By now, her parents were at her fiance’s house. She made to get into the car but was held by the arm and directed into another car where she was made to sit in the passenger seat. She was quiet and sorrowful.

Her parents drove her home, Kate stripped down to her bare essentials and plopped on her bed. She could not help the onslaught of tears as she kept crying and bawling her eyes out. She held on to her phone for her dear life, Shayo would call and apologize. He could not do this to her, Shayo told her loved her, he could not take off like that and certainly, not jilting her on their wedding day. He would call back. Kate kept crying and kept expecting Shayo to call her.

How to heal myself after a breakup/mind strings/Pinterest pin

Kate’s mother came into Kate’s room and whilst crying, helped her daughter strip down to her birthday suit before leading her daughter into the shower to wash her. The old woman cried on behalf of her daughter, her girl did not deserve such pain.

Kate continued crying throughout the next week, her eyes were heavy and hurting already. Why would Shayo do this?

How to heal myself after a breakup…. Shayo!!!

She looked at their pictures, he was the most loving man she had ever met in her entire life. Shayo had promised her on the couch of his sitting room that their marriage was going to be different, their love story was going to last. It was going to be a forever something. 

On a beautiful day, she had walked in on Shayo making dinner for them, and when she held him from behind, he released a groan that sent chills down her spine. Kate remembered thinking of how much she loved this guy with every fibre of her being. He had to entice her with dinner so she would change her mind against going home.

Shayo surprised her at work with 25 roses and a white rose to mark her birthday. She gasped at such extravagance as to how Shayo was able to pull something like that off when she had just been with him that morning. Her fellow workers in her office were green with envy and every one of them had to take a rose for themselves along with the delicious cupcake and small chops Shayo had ordered.  

Anger? Yes, a volcano

Kate smiled, fresh tears ran down her eyes. Here she was, unmarried and utterly disgraced. Her colleagues had joined the Asoebi, Kate remembered ordering her mum to set aside a big cooler of rice and meat for her colleagues. Now, there was no marriage, how would she go back to work? Her gist would have already spread like wildfire now, what would happen to the wedding rice and every other preparation?

Kate stared at his pictures on her phone and felt indignation rise in her. If she ever set her sights on him, she was going to rip him apart. She would destroy him.

She didn’t know what came over her when she tore the bedsheet away from the bed. Her anger expressed itself when she walked towards her table shouting and with a sweep of her hand, everything came tumbling down. She stared at herself in the mirror, she looked crazed, she could care less. She went to her shoe bag, took hold of it and flung it across the room. The heel of a stilettoe landed against a side of the mirror and caused a crack. She released a loud yell as she took hold of her pillow and punched it vigorously. When she was done exhausting her strength, she heaped hopelessly on the floor and wept silently.

How to heal from a breakup when you still love them.

Kate could not help it after a month when she tried to reach him. She searched all his social media handles, she kept calling his number. Kate wanted to talk to Shayo. She went to see his parents and begged them to give her their son’s number, she felt he might have called them. They also looked emaciated. She cried in the arms of the woman who should have been her mother-in-law.

His father was shaking his head, the news of Shayo jilting her had taken its toll on them. She went to see all his friends and they all claimed to not know his whereabouts. What would she not give right now to talk to him, to ask why he did that. Did he develop cold feet? Did he have someone else? They could reach a truce, she would beg him to take the shame away from her and marry her.

After two months, Kate had slipped into depression; she ate little, talked little. Kate could not bear the thought of going back to work so she resigned. She had lost the love of her life and lost her job too. There was nothing to live for again. She woke up and stared out the window all day, reminiscing the sweet moments she and Shayo had shared. Her mother and father kept a constant watch on her and removed any harmful objects around her. Her parents were sad to see their daughter reduced to such a state by a man she loved. A day of joy had supposedly turned into a day of mourning. 

Signs you are healing from a breakup

Her parents booked an appointment with a therapist from mildstrings for her. She visited regularly and some sessions left her feeling worse and some left her feeling better. It took some time with the help of the therapist for her to come around to what had happened. She had to work on her self-esteem which had been terribly crushed. 

In a few months, Kate could breathe better. She no more walked with her shoulders stooped low. The heaviness on her chest seemed to alleviate each day and with each session. She could smile genuinely now. She looked better and her parents were happier about it. Her therapist had advised she gave herself time to heal and that she did. Against her will, she had to let go of his pictures and other things that reminded her of him. If it was going to bring some measure of sanity back to her, she was all for it.

How to heal myself after a breakupMoving on

A year after her wedding fiasco, Kate had made a major recovery. She took up another job on the new year’s eve. As she stepped into the company, Kate took a slow look around and breathed in an air of confidence and new beginnings


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