How to help someone with low self-esteem?

by Onyinye Ogbuka

Low self-esteem can make one defensive because they are trying to hide their inadequacies. Low self-esteem can make one avoid responsibilities or pass up on big opportunities. People with low self-esteem are more likely to be victims of abuse. How to help someone with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is when some lack confidence about themselves, their bodies or what they are capable of. Most times, when someone lacks low self-esteem, they often feel like they can’t be enough or cannot do enough and this makes them go out of their way to please or associate with others at the expense of themselves. How to help someone with low self-esteem.

How to help someone with low self esteem?

Moyo had low self-esteem, she was was my coworker at work and it was highly disappointing to see such an intelligent person pass up brilliant opportunities because she believed herself incapable of doing great stuff.  Her male coworkers kept being promoted. They kept taking credit for projects that they were assigned together even though she was the brains behind the job.

I was not happy with this situation, I loved my friend but I wanted the best for her and she was not willing to reach out and grab it even though it was staring at her right in the face.

When I could not take it anymore, I had to help her book a therapist at Mildstrings and she started seeing the therapist. 

At first, it looked at nothing substantial was happening but when it did began to happen I was happy. Happy that she was realizing who she was  and what she deserved.

I wanted to help out and she invited me to one of her sessions with the therapist. The therapist thanked me for helping my friend and gave me some tips to help accelerate the process. 

She gave me some tips on how to help my friend get rid of her low self esteem.

How to help someone with low self-esteem?/Pinterest pin/mildstrings

How to support someone with low self esteem?

Make them involved; I got my friend to meet my other friends, more specifically people that had projects like non-governmental projects. Moyo is intelligent and they needed her intelligence to carry out some stuff so I recommended her. She was hesitant at first but she trusted me and took up the positions. When she did, her performance was stellar, my friends kept testifying about how good she was. All this helped improve her in a way 

Positive feedback;  Moyo would asked me about herself and I would make sure to encourage her. After the NGO projects, she asked about how she fared and I told her that she did well. I made sure to give her the appreciation that she deserved.

How to help someone with low self esteem

Ridicule; when the therapist pointed this out, I was guilty of this because I had laughed at Moyo many times. I had to stop laughing at her, rather I laughed with her. It was difficult at first but when I had built a mindset on it, it became difficult. Whenever others laughed at her, I became annoyed and I would rebuke them. 

Encouragement: Another opportunity showed up for Moyo to be promoted but she showed some signs of hesitancy and I didn’t give her a breathing space. I sat her down and listen to her all the reasons why I thought it was important for her to take the opportunity. When she made her move, the guys in her office were affronted, they criticized her but she faced them head-on and was given the opportunity. She became more assertive about pay and benefits at work that the company was willing to meet her demands because she was an asset to the company. 

How to do you help someone with low self esteem?

She broke up finally with her deadbeat boyfriend that had been using her. It wasn’t hard for her to get rid of him because her self esteem had developed so much.

When she was promoted again at work, I shed tears of joy the day she got her promotion.

Moyo is now more outspoken, more daring and remains as intelligent as ever. It is so beautiful seeing her reach her hands out to take all that life has to offer her.

The therapist at mildstrings had made all these possible. I am glad I booked her that therapist at Mildstrings.

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