How to know if she truly loves you? Does she love my money or my personality.

by Onyinye Ogbuka
How to know if she truly loves you/Twitter/mildstrings

How to know if she truly loves you? It’s a question of time. Did you meet her when you were rich? I assure you, only hard times would reveal her true feelings. Did you meet when you were poor? It’s a question I cannot answer yet. I thought I had everything in life until I saw the woman I married. How did I know she truly loved me, hard times happened.

How to know if she truly loves you… Deep waters

I could feel my fingers painfully digging into my palms as I resisted the urge to reach my hand out and slap the nonsense out of my wife’s mouth.

What the hell is wrong with this woman, this is not the woman I married. For once, I saw her heart and it was ugly, her beauty could not hide it. I realized I was married to a foolish woman.

Words like arrows…

“Can you hear me? I cannot continue like this. See Ahmed, please get your acts together. I did not marry you to come and suffer. What is all this? She placed her hands on her waist and continued to eyeball me.

How to know if she truly loves you

I just did not have any words for her, all I wanted to do was to smash my fist in her face.

I was not raised like that. Talking was not going to solve my problem nor would it make her understand me.

If I say more, she will incite my anger with her razor sharp tongue and I really will not be able to stop my self.

I put my shoes on and walked out of the room.

She saw I was not going to engage her and followed after me, calling me names. Our kids were in the sitting room playing with their set boxes. They stopped what they were doing to know what was going on. I barely spared them a glance as I passed my them and walked out of the house.

The fool I married followed me and kept insulting me in the presence of my kids. I walked out of the house and made my way out of the compound.

How to know if she truly loves you… Around and about

Somewhere that might stop being mine. I smiled wryly. When last did I walk? I guess I’m finally back to square one.

I thought of going to a club but I restrained myself. “Alcohol is not going to solve my problem”, I thought.

I walked around and after a while, it looked like I have lost track of time. I looked at my phone and realized it was 8 pm. Wow, I spent four hours outside. I made my way back home whilst thinking of how unfortunate I was to have married someone like her. Someone I picked up from the gutter.

Weddings and tomatoes…

Yes, I picked her up from the gutter.

It was on the occasion of a friend’s wedding I met her.

I had showed up two days before the wedding day to show solidarity and support.

The catererers had been disappointed by the person the person who was supposed to help them get a basket of tomatoes, so they needed a driver.

I stepped up to assist and I was met with a lot of “Thank yous” and “God bless yous” here and there. My friend’s younger brother opted to follow me and the woman who would buy the tomatoes. We drove to the market and made our way toward the woman’s customer.

A prince and his Cinderella

I met my wife there.

She was the one helping her mother sell tomatoes. The woman told her what we wanted and she went to call her mum who had the number of tomatoes we needed.

How to know if she truly loves you/mildstrings
How to know if she truly loves

Throughout the entire negotiation, I kept my gaze on her. However rough, she was beautiful. I wanted this girl. The woman with us was trying to beat down the price of the basket of tomatoes and at same time threatening to leave her customer and go somewhere else.

My wife’s mother kept begging her. I told my wife’s mother not to worry. She was going to get her desired price for the tomatoes.

This shocked the woman with us who cast a disapproving glance at me, I had spoilt her chance to register her negotiating prowess. I made sure my wife’s mother got her full payment amidst the thanks.

How to know if she truly loves you?.. A step further

While they were packaging the tomatoes and putting them into the back of the car. I made my way over to the girl, I introduced myself and she did the same. I got her contact, apparently she was using a small phone that had no access to the internet.

We left the market but I did not forget her. After the wedding, I called her phone and reintroduced my self. She seemed eager on phone and we had a conversation. She was not so fluent in English, it didn’t deter me.

I switched to our local dialect, Yoruba and we had a long conversation. By the end of our conversation, I was able to set an appointment with her.

How to know if she truly loves you?…And further

I wanted to take her out.

Our first date was nothing short of hilarious, I chuckled at the funny memory of her experiencing new things for the first time. She did not know how to handle a fork and knife and finally decided to stick to using a spoon. We were to use an elevator, so we could go see a movie. She thought she was going to fall. I had to convince her that the innocent technology was not going to make her fall.

The way she held on to me for her life was funny. It was an opportunity for me hold her, who am I to pass it up.

Subsequent dates were more like a teacher and student routine.

I would teach her how to eat certain foods. It was funny and at the same time a bonding experience for us.

I liked that I was the one who introduced her to the finer things of life. I didn’t like her dressing, she tried her best but poverty was written all over her.

It was quite a crazy day when I took her out and we went on a shopping spree. I told her to pick whatever she desired. She could not hide her wonder at all the beautiful things she was going to be getting.

By the time we were through, my wife could boast of over a hundred clothes excluding the numerous shoes and bags plus accessories.

I made sure to get her the best skincare treatment which left her skin especially her fingers looking supple.

Whoever met my wife now, would not believe she is girl at the market.

How to know if she truly loves you?… And you are mine

6 months after our first meeting at the market. We tied the knot with a big Nikkah ceremony.

How to know if she truly loves you

We flew out for our honeymoon. It was her first time flying and it scared the life out of her. The entire trip left her in awe of the world. We toured Greece and Dubai for two weeks; each week for a country.

Her lack of literacy was brought to limelight while we were filling forms and processing her passport.

I wanted a literate wife, so I enrolled her in lessons so she could learn and improve her fluency in English. I went further to register her for Jamb and WAEC and got her to prepare towards it. She is quite studious and this impressed me. She performed well and chose to study Education as a course in the University.

Lift your leg… there, the world is at your feet.

Four years after our wedding, she became a graduate. By now we had had two kids and two years later, we had our last child and decided to stop having kids.

Throughout her time in school, I made sure she lacked for nothing. She went to school in the latest cars and had her personal driver. She was the envy of many girls in school. If not for me, would she boast of a secondary school leaving certificate talk more of a degree?

I gave her the world, now that I don’t have a fraction of it, she spits into my face.

How to know if she truly loves you? Your money or your personality/Pinterest image

One disappointment… One more disappointment

Nine years into our marriage, a trusted friend duped me of a huge amount of money that destroyed my financial stability.

In the last six months, things have been hard. I have had to sell our cars and some of our properties just to stay afloat.

I left the house because she was insulting me about my inability to provide the 1 million naira she needed for her friend’s destination wedding. 300 thousand naira was for the lace and 700 thousand naira was for the trip to Bora Bora. I tried telling her to forgo the wedding as we have stay to afloat, she is refusing and turned the table on me implying I am being irresponsible and making her suffer. She is making every effort to keep up with the creme de la crème the society and it’s just stupid.

Can’t she just support me, can’t she reason with me and help me out here. I make my way back into the house and avoid her. I don’t feel like eating, not like she will cook. Ever since I fell on hard times, we had to let our workers go including the cook. She has refused to cook and continues to order takeout.

Soon her allowance will finish and she will come running to me. I slept and thought of what to do for tomorrow. I needed to get back on my feet as soon as possible.

Voices of Dissent

I decided to sell the house.

In the wee hours of the morning, I tapped her so I could tell her of my plans. She woke up and was giving me an attitude. I ignored her and told her of my plans to sell the house. Selling the house would help me get back on my feet.

She refused vehemently, “Ahmed, please please, is this nonsense you woke me up for. Why the hell are you going to sell the house. Subhanallah, my head rejects it. So you want me and my children to move from grace to grass.”

I bit back my retort to tell her that was where she came from. Going back there for a while would help her shitty attitude.

“Halimah, I need the money”.

“Go and find the money somewhere else”, she snapped”

Okay, why don’t you want me to sell the house? At least, tell me the reason”, I asked her

“I cannot live anywhere of a lower quality than this. If we sell the house now, where are going to move to?

It was at the tip of my tongue to lie but I had nothing to gain. “We are going to rent a two-bedroom or three-bedroom somewhere way cheaper than this estate we live in, it doesn’t even have to be an estate. As far as we are safe and we have enough security”.

She laughed in derision, “so, you mean I will downgrade and start living in a two-bedroom? You are very funny. Please I do not want to hear any nonsense this morning. Go and find the money somewhere else. I am bigger than all this nonsense you are trying to reduce me to.

To fight alone

At that point, I did not care. I decided to do what I think was best. Got her wake up so she could plan with me and that was what I got in return. “I will sell the house and there is nothing you will do about it.”

The tigress in her seemed to have been activated, she started shouting at me. I told her to reduce her voice so she does not disturb the kids. She raised it louder. and threatened to leave me, I don’t care. She can do as the pleases.

Cheers to a better life

I listed the house for sale and within a month, I got a buyer who bought the house at a good price.

She found out that I sold the house and decided to leave me.

Apparently, there was another man in the picture. I laughed at myself in self-mockery, I was the fool.

She took our second born and last born with her who are both girls, they opted to go with her.

While I had the eldest with me who is a son, he opted to stay with me.

I was able to cut down my expenses and moved into a one-bedroom. I shared the room with my 9-year-old son.

What was left of the money was what I used to go back into business. It’s a year now, I am back on my feet. It seems as though I never fell on hard times. I pulled strings and old contacts who helped me get back on my feet.

I have moved out of the one-bedroom to a mansion better than my previous mansion. My son has the world at his feet.

The last, I heard of my wife was that the man who took her in chased her out of his house when he got tired of her.

She moved back into her mother’s house, I don’t even know if I should go back and get my kids, I don’t want to see her wretched form.


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