I cheated on my wife and got caught; sidechick destroyed my marriage.

by Onyinye Ogbuka
I physically abused my wife/mildstrings/Facebook/Twitter

Whoever said men are wired to cheat and as such are polygamous is the greatest fool out there. This is a dangerous mindset for any sensible young man. Influence drove me into this mindset and I cheated on my wife and got caught. The side chick destroyed my marriage.

I cheated on my wife and got caught

A man of forty, with a thriving career and a beautiful family. You could say I was blessed. I had a house to my name and a ton of investment. You could say I had it all.

My wife is the most wonderful woman any man would ever pray to have. Growing up, I had never known what it felt like to be cared for like a little child but every day I spend with my wife, she cares for me like a child and that makes me feel good. Sometimes I refer to her as my mother; I can never go wrong with making decisions whenever I have her around. We got married a few months after her graduation, I had never told her but I was scared that a man would take her away from me that was why I pushed that we get married before she is more exposed and found out that I am not the best option for her. 

A perfect wife

People have always opined that girls in their early twenties are not responsible or mature. They certainly have not met my wife, she is a woman with such a wonderful character, she is wise above her years and that is why I always appreciate her input and her advice. I rarely make business decisions without telling her. When we started having kids, it was as though I did not know the woman that I had married. The way she effortlessly handles the home, takes care of the children and takes care of me is something to be written about. I have never imagined life without her because the day I tried to, it was a horrific experience. I knew I could not live without her even if I wanted to. She was the bane of my existence.

Is it normal to cheat when married?

How I lost sight of that was something I would never understand but I would always blame myself for it.  A man would always have friends, sometimes when I need some good time, I hang out with my friends. We are a group of six and most times, we often hang out at clubs or joints whichever suits the atmosphere. We might have similar goals in the area of career and finance but we don’t have similar goals in the area of marriage. Four out of my six friends have side chicks, and each time we hang out, these girls accompany them. They are very beautiful girls but I had always had an air of indifference toward them. I didn’t care what my friends did as far as it did not affect me.

I cheated on my wife and got caught

My friend, Ozo, who was not interested in having a side chick always criticized the remaining four for cheating on their wives. He didn’t spare the side chicks, some who cowered in shame and some who gave my friend a piece of their mind till they had to be shut up by those who brought them. As such, my friend was not always invited to every hangout we had.

On a particular night, I had plans to hang out with my friends but the rain started falling. My wife asked me to stay at home and cancel, she had never really liked my friends. She had complained once about it but I was not willing to listen to her after which she stopped. I drove out that night to meet my friends, they were at an upscale joint, and the atmosphere was chilly. They were downing bottles of beer and having the time of their lives with their side chicks. I noticed a girl sitting alone when I came in, she was introduced to me as a friend to one of the side chicks. As a favour, I was asked to keep her company. No harm in that, I said to myself.

I cheated on my wife and got caught/Pinterest pin/mildstrings

I cheated on my wife and got caught; To catch a fly

A few minutes into our conversations, I discovered she was shy. It sort of brought out the hunter in me. I was enjoying myself teasing her mercilessly. She was beautiful and I didn’t mind leaning over to whisper in her ears whilst enjoying the scent of her intoxicating perfume. I ordered things for her and she ate so little, she was like a little kitten I wanted to wrap my hands around. 

When it was time to retire back home for the night, I wanted to drive her back to her hostel myself and my friends were hailing me. We had more conversations in the car and by the time we got to her hostel, I wanted to kiss her. Somewhere in my mind, I was receiving signals that this was wrong but I ignored it. I removed my seatbelt and leaned over, she recoiled and I felt more brazen. I cupped her chin with my hands and grazed her lips, she whimpered and in a split second, I drove my tongue into her. The way she yielded to my arms had my blood boiling. I kissed her over and over, I was not satisfied, I had to have her, I said to myself as I got her number and watched her get down from my Jeep and walk into her hostel.

I drove home that night to my family and made love to my wife with images of Kamsy in my mind.

Why do I cheat on my wife when I love her?

I chatted her up the next day and as soon as she came online, I asked her to send me her account number. I don’t know why I did that, maybe to show her I am a big boy. She refused at first but I had to insist and when she did, I sent some money to her. She was full of appreciation. I asked her to send me her nudes and at first, she declined but I begged her. She later sent it because she loved how I made her feel. As I looked through her nudes, I felt myself wanting her.

In a week, I had booked an appointment with her at a hotel where we finally could tear our clothes off. It was a crazy experience, somewhere was a niggling doubt that my wife would one day catch me. The thought of that happening fueled my desire for stolen pleasures. 

I met with my side chick every day, within three months,  I had to get her an apartment so I could enjoy my time with her. I started to withdraw from my wife, she would want me to spend time with her but I would be too busy and I was not patient with her anymore. In my mind, I was comparing her and Kamsy. I could not satisfy both women in bed but I paid more attention to Kamsy than to my wife. 

Ozo found what I was doing with a side chick and berated me. I shut him up and asked him to mind his business. My friends hailed me and asked me to enjoy my life as I only live once.

What should I do if I cheated on my wife?

I continued with Kamsy while I ignored my home. Kamsy was my focus, we went out together, I would tell my wife that I was travelling for work and I would take Kamsy along with me. I did a lot of things for Kamsy till she got pregnant in our seventh month together. When she told me she was pregnant, I avoided her for a week. I kept fielding her calls because I was unpleasantly surprised. I didn’t want her to be pregnant, the children my wife had given me were enough.

Then, I realized the kind of fool I had been, I had cheated on my wife and there was no excuse for that. She had never turned me down each time I asked for sex, she had been instrumental to my growth in life, she had never made me feel less of a man, she takes care of my finances and would not allow me to spend on frivolities.

Kamsy is another ball game, if I had put in more effort, whatever it was that Kamsy did on the bed, my wife could do better, she was childish and I spent an unnecessary amount of money on her. I found it difficult to look at my wife without being penitent. She was surprised at my change of attitude and finally breathed a sigh of relief that it was just a phase. I stayed around the house more and spent more time with her.

I cheated on my wife and got caught; Can a marriage work after cheating?

We were in the sitting room watching movies when someone knocked on the door, my wife stood up to open the door and Kamsy barged in. I was horrified, my wife was in shock as Kamsy accused of sleeping with her and abandoning her. My wife asked for evidence and she showed my wife our chats and my nudes I sent her. Kamsy left after I had thrown her out. I made to approach my wife and beg her but she slapped twice and hard, I deserved it. I cried as I begged her. My sins had finally caught up with me and there was no one to blame but myself.

I watched in agony as my wife became lifeless, the fire in her eyes had gone out. She no more looked at me with that loving smile she had whenever served me my food. It was perfunctory and I hated it. She moved out of our bedroom to another room. Those conversations that I cherished, I could not have with her again.

I cheated on my wife and got caught; I can’t do this again

I tried using sex as a way to get her to talk to me, she insisted that I get tested first when the test came back, I was negative for all sicknesses. When we finally had sex, it was horrifying. My wife no matter how tired she is was always responsive to me. Watching her orgasm to my touch had always been a highlight for me but this time she laid there, still, as I kept thrusting into her. She kept her head sideways as I continued, mid-thrust, I felt myself go soft because I felt like I was raping her. That was enough for me to know never to ask for sex again.

Whenever I said “I love you” to her, she would not reply, previously she would have kissed me and replied with a smile. I missed our old life. We can never go back to the way we were before. At some point, I was frustrated and begged her to cheat on me if it will make her go back to her old self.

I cheated on my wife and got caught

It’s three years now and my marriage is still in the shambles I put it in. I have broken contact with my friends. I do not want to see them again. Kamsy lost the pregnancy but I already cut off communication with her. I can’t remember the last time laughter rang out of my home. It’s choking and I am thinking of leaving the marriage.


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