In love with my friend’s boyfriend but I won’t date him.

by Onyinye Ogbuka
In love with my friend's boyfriend/mildstrings
In love with my friend's boyfriend/mildstrings
In love with my friend’s boyfriend

A person will not know the value of what she has till she loses it, that person was someone close to me. I became the thief when I knew the value of what she took for granted but could I help it when it came with love? I fell in love with my friend’s boyfriend but I refused to be referred to as the man snatcher. Did I give in to my desire?

In love with my friend’s boyfriend; an unequal measure of passion

Everywhere was silent and dark, hushed whispers of excitement wafted around. I received a text from him that read he was near the building with Kim. I promptly relayed the message to the people in the room with me. The people in the room consisted of my friends, who also doubled as Kim’s friends, her boyfriend’s friends and a host of other people. I hear the creak of the door and Kim, my friend asks her boyfriend why everywhere is dark, I chuckle silently. Before her boyfriend shuts the door, it’s a cue for us to shout happy birthday and the light comes on immediately, the balloons also pop.

Surprise fills her face, Kim closes her hands over her mouth, she is happy. She does not even know what to do, either to step forward and hug everyone or hug her boyfriend. I hope she does not disappoint. Nice! She does. She goes hugging everyone and leaves her boyfriend standing awkwardly at the door.  Hurt flickers through his eyes, he meets my gaze and smiles before turning around to properly shut the door and move into the shadows. He is shy and the birthday girl seems to have forgotten the man that took it upon himself to shell out the money for her birthday party. Kim dances with her girl gang and continues to take gram pictures with her friends. 

In love with my friend's boyfriend/mildstrings
In love with my friend’s boyfriend

After an hour, the energy of the party seems to have gone down and people are saying their goodbyes. Kim is called up to give her vote of thanks. She appreciates everyone and I am glad she also appreciated her boyfriend. She invites him to come over to the centre, where she kisses him. He is grinning, I smile widely. Yes, this is how it should be. 

In love with my friend’s boyfriend; a rare breed

The party comes to an end and I breathe a sigh of relief as I try to tie things up and make my way home. Adams offers me a ride but I decline, I want to enjoy the cool night air.

Her boyfriend, Adams was the one who contacted me to help him organise a surprise birthday party for my friend to celebrate her twenty-fourth birthday. We had worked together, and I still find it hard to believe a guy would splurge on a birthday party like this. Whenever I would complain that the price of something was too expensive, he would shush me and tell me his baby deserved the best. I would roll my eyes but I was delighted my friend had someone who was forever loyal to her.

In love with my friend’s boyfriend; People are rivers

I cast my mind back to how I met Kim and how we got close.

I was a freshman about to get lost while looking for my faculty, it was Kim that helped me out. She was also a fresher like me but having resumed a week earlier, she had been able to get a hang of the surroundings. It was funny that we were in the same department. We struck some sort of friendship from there.

We decided to get a room together and for three years we have been living in the same room. Kim is the more outgoing of both of us, she has men falling all over her. She is the one who has a clique that stays over with us sometimes. I have warned her many times to stop hanging out with them. Kim used to be level-headed, now, I don’t know what I want to call it. I know Kim has always been a bit materialistic but it’s gotten worse. I am an extrovert too but it’s not so much like Kim’s and I like to be level-headed. It helps leave a good impression on people and lately, Kim has not been leaving a good impression of herself on people.

I open the door to my room and stare at my room for a while.

In this room, Kim and I have shared our dreams and aspirations. We have cried in each other arms when some of the boys we loved broke our hearts. I guess I was the only one that grew up because I don’t understand why Kim is acting like this.

Kim comes into the room three hours later and plops tiredly on the bed. Her phone begins to ring, she brings it out and finds out it’s her boyfriend calling. Kenny is on her bed watching as Kim cuts the call and complains about Adams disturbing her.

“This guy sef, is it because I am dating him that he is chasing me like I don’t have anything to do. He is so annoying, he should leave me jare. Kim looks at Kenny and continues, “so you knew he was planning something and you did not tell me.” Kim stands up and goes to sit on Kenny’s bed. “Thank you very much for helping to plan the best birthday party ever.”

Kenny sits up and hugs Kim, “you are welcome dear, I hope you know the good thing you have so you don’t lose it.

In love with my friend’s boyfriend... A thousand words for a fool

Kim withdrew from her, “what do you mean by that Kenny?

Kenny sighed, if they were truly friends she should be able to tell her babe the truth. “See Kim, what you did today at your surprise birthday party does not make sense at all. Adams went all out to organize for you the best surprise birthday party I have ever seen in my life. When you came in, you left him and spent almost the whole time socializing with your friends. It was at the end when there were few people left that you acknowledged him.

In love with my friend's boyfriend/mildstrings/Pinterest pin
In love with my friend’s boyfriend

What is wrong with you Kim? I was expecting that you would go back home with him, not that I expect you to go and fornicate. At least you are supposed to spend some time with him. It seems as if his presence irritates you because you hurriedly bade him farewell and went to a  club with your friends. Who does that Kim? Tell me who? Look at a guy that treats you well, this guy makes you a priority and you treat him like trash.

Don’t you think of the number of guys that have broken both our hearts in the past? Now, you have someone that treats you like gold yet you treat him like a second option. Kim is this alright? He is calling you now, probably to ask if you got home safe but what did you do, you cut his call. Babe, I wish someone will treat me the way Adams is treating you. For a year you have been using him, this is a guy that takes it upon himself to spend on you like he is the world’s richest man.  He sends you money every month and when he can’t meet your needs you insult him. 

What do you do if someone likes your boyfriend

Kenny watched Kim as Kim insulted her, calling her all sorts of names. Her friend was insulting her because she told her the truth.

Kenny knew it would be a matter of time before they would break up. Her friend was going to fuck up the good thing she had. 

And maybe that was why she was not surprised when she received a call from a heartbroken Adams the next month. She had just finished classes and on receiving the call rushed to Adams’s house. Kenny found him on the floor distraught, he had been drinking. She helped him up and comforted him and her heart ached for him. Kenny comforted him while he lamented about being tired of relationships; how girls were always taking advantage of his kindness. 

It was a sorry sight to see but Kenny ensured she got Adams out of that state. As if that was not enough, he fell sick and experienced a serious bout of malaria. Kenny did not have it in her to leave his side, she took care of him and took him to the hospital for treatment.

After a week of intensive care, Adams had begun to convalesce, he could move around by himself. His quick recovery was due to Kenny’s care. 

Kenny wanted to go home, she was already catching feelings and had often caught Adams staring at her in the week that passed. 

What do you do when you fall in love with your friend’s boyfriend?

Kenny was making pancakes in the kitchen in the morning when Adams woke up. The first thing on his mind was Kenny, he wanted Kenny. She was beautiful, he wondered how the hell he had never seen that. She was lovely and she was the kind of person that would not break his heart the way her friend did. There was no time to waste. She would graduate and probably move somewhere else. He had to make his move now. Adams walked into the kitchen and without mincing words asked Kenny to date him, but she declined immediately.

In love with my friend's boyfriend/mildstrings
In love with my friend’s boyfriend

He was hurt and the more he tried to convince her, the more her conviction took root.

Kenny wanted to date him but she could not, she could not afford to deal with the rumours that would fly about her. She loved Adams but what he felt for her might not be love and she did not want to be a rebound. She did not want that cloud hanging over her; that he might still be in love with her friend. Most importantly, she did not want to be known as a boyfriend snatcher. She had to turn him down for her peace of mind.

Hope as flowers

She finished making breakfast and excused herself after explaining to him why she cannot date him. She decided to stay off and block his contact. If they were meant to be, it was going to happen.

After three months, Kim came crying to Kenny about how guys after Adams have not been treating her well. Kim tried to get back with Adams but Adams was not giving her a fighting chance. He had blocked her and refused to see her at his house.

Adam pined over Kenny for a year, he lost interest in other women, she was the only one he wanted. He called her many times but it was futile. Adams had fully gotten over Kim, during which he realized that Kim was not worth his feelings. He wanted Kenny but did not know where to start in looking for her. 

After a year, Adams met Kenny at an airport terminal. He ensured to get her contact. Kenny could not stifle the warmth she felt when she hugged Adams. Maybe they were meant to be after all.


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