How To Deal With Insecurity in a Long Distance Relationship

by Ben Danor

Insecurity is one of the long-distance relationship problems most couples deal with. Don’t think you are the only one who is insecure about a long-distance relationship; many long-distance couples are too. 

Only a few long-distance relationships don’t experience insecurity at the beginning. Couples who are still new to a relationship might experience insecurity more often. However, this doesn’t mean insecurity is a good thing.  That’s why we are going to teaching you how to deal with insecurities in a long distance relationship.

It is a bad thing and can ruin a long-distance relationship if it is neglected and it eats deep into the relationship. Insecurity has been discovered to cause disagreements, self-doubts, baseless fights, possessiveness, and so on. That’s why it’s important to know how to stop being insecure in a long distance relationship.

Truth be told, we all have some kind of insecurity we deal with. For some, it could be a lack of confidence or assurance and self-doubts for others. Your Insecurities are hard to notice if you still live with your partner. They become more evident when you enter a long-distance relationship or when your current relationship turns into a long-distance relationship. 

If you have a relationship insecurity you are currently dealing with, then here you will learn a couple of ways you can get over these insecurities in a long-distance relationship. 

What Are Long Distance Relationship Insecurities?

Before I dive into the solution I have here, it is essential you know what insecurity in a relationship truly means. 

If you have this disbelief in your partner and there’s a lack of assurance, this is a sign that you’re experiencing a long-distance insecurity. 

Like I said earlier, everyone has their insecurities. They are personal and usually a result of past experiences or the present. A lady who was cheated on in her last relationship might feel insecure when she enters a new relationship. 

She would always doubt her partner’s loyalty and commitment, especially if her new relationship is a long-distance relationship. 

The moment two people agree to start dating, they go into a relationship with their insecurities. Each party has its preferences, values, and culture. It is then very natural to experience new things. 

I believe I have explained to you what insecurity in a relationship is all about. So, it’s high time to give you strategies you can use to deal with insecurities in a long-distance relationship. 

Insecurity in a long distance relationship

How To Deal With Insecurities in a Long Distance Relationship

You need to have an honest conversation with your spouse if you’re serious about dealing with insecurity in a long-distance relationship. Here are some ways you can deal with insecurity in a long-distance relationship: 

  1. Don’t Be Quick to Assume

Assumptions are one of the major things that kill a long-distance relationship. If you are in a long-distance relationship, don’t make assumptions about your partner; always ask! Many of these assumptions don’t even exist or are not close to reality. 

Let’s assume your significant other hasn’t been able to reach you, and they are not picking up your call; instead of you assuming that they didn’t pick your calls because they were with someone more important than you, ask them. Ask them the reasons for their actions, and don’t make assumptions about them. Assumptions won’t help matters; they will worsen it. 

If you doubt your partner’s loyalty due to some assumptions you’ve made, get rid of those assumptions and wait until you find strong proof against them. Treat the relationship like everything is fine until you find strong proof. Why don’t you assume positively instead of the other way? Remain positive! Never let your doubts be a result of assumptions. You should doubt only when you have strong proof of their infidelity.

  1. Have an Honest Conversation With Your Partner

Having an open and honest conversation with your spouse will help you bond better. If you do this often and the bonding is strong, tackling difficult situations together becomes easier. Couples who understand each other and are bonded fight battles together with ease. 

Instead of keeping your doubts and lack of confidence to yourself, talk it out with your partner. They could help you overcome your insecurity. What matters is understanding. If both of you understand each other quite well, you can even help each other overcome your doubts because your partner might also feel insecure. This is a great way to deal with long-distance relationship insecurity.

  1. Make Trust a Priority

You should make trust a priority in any relationship you find yourself in. If you trust your partner and they do the same, dealing with insecurity becomes an easy job. If the trust is very strong, insecurity won’t even have its way. 

Trust is not when someone tells you they trust you; you need to feel that trust. A partner who stalks you every time doesn’t trust you even if they tell you they do. 

Trust is when you don’t have an idea what your partner is doing where they are, but you are certain that they are not doing something that would hurt you. 

If you build and exercise trust in your long-distance relationship, dealing with insecurity won’t be an issue. Since you trust them, you won’t have any reason to doubt their loyalty. 

If the trust in your relationship is nothing to write about, why don’t you consider building trust? Trust can be built; it only takes time. 

  1. Shun Comparison

Don’t ever think you are not good enough for your spouse. Even if other people rush them, don’t think you’re too low and can’t fulfill those requirements. This would make you get jealous, and jealousy would add to your insecurity. 

Don’t compare yourself with other people; it can cause low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Even if your partner chooses someone over you, resist the urge to compare yourself with that person. What did he see in her? What does he have that I don’t? These questions would make you lose your confidence, and that would be disastrous. 

  1. Get Over Your Past Insecurities

Many people still struggle with getting over their past Insecurities, and this keeps affecting their current relationships. Regardless of how hurtful your past is, please let go of it. I believe you don’t want to end this new relationship because of something you experienced years many ago.

It’s time to let go of it and work towards making the new one better. Due to your past experience, you feel insecure about your current relationship, and you doubt every time even though your partner didn’t give you a reason to do that. You start to act in some inappropriate manner and become possessive and controlling. 

Why should your current partner be the one to suffer for what happened in your past? You’re punishing him for something he/she knows nothing about. Don’t think they will keep watching you; if it persists, they might wake up one day and tell you they’re not interested in the relationship anymore. 

Is it worth it? Losing a fresh relationship because of past Insecurities. It’s high time you worked on getting over the past. 

How Do I Stop Being Insecure in a Long Distance Relationship?

You need to exercise trust, have an honest conversation with your spouse, and tell your partner how you feel or want to stop being insecure in a long-distance relationship. Transparency is a must-have. If you want to achieve that, make it a priority. You should also stop making assumptions; they don’t help matters. If there’s something you need clarity on, ask your partner, don’t assume!

Insecurity in a long distance relationship

Final Words

It’s advised you know how to stop being insecure in a long distance relationship on time before they start to affect your relationship. Insecurity has made tons of people lose good partners. If care is not taken, insecurity can turn you into a partner who wants to be in control and dominate. 

Once it reaches this stage, you start to keep tabs on your partner. You become too possessive, and you don’t want to see them with any other person. When they receive a call, you want to know who they are talking with. Some would even install spy apps on their partner’s phone to know their movement and day-to-day activity. 

Your partner would feel very unhappy if you continued to do these things. They don’t have the freedom to do anything except they get your consent. Nobody likes to be controlled, don’t be surprised when they end the relationship out of frustration. 

Before it gets to the stage where you will need to let go of your long-distance relationship, work on your Insecurities and find their roots. If it’s from previous relationships, heal and get over them. Talk with your spouse and discuss the way forward — find a way to fix your relationship. If both of you are ready to solve your Insecurities, the process becomes easier and faster. 

I confess to you that long-distance relationships are hard to handle, but you’ll enjoy them if you can give it all it takes. According to a 2018 survey, long-distance relationships have a 60% chance of surviving. I wish you the best as you venture to overcome insecurity in your long-distance relationship. 

Have you ever felt insecure in a relationship? How did you handle it? Kindly share your experience with us in the comments section. If it’s personal and you don’t want to share it here, we understand you, email us directly then! 

Are you going through a relationship/marriage crisis? — you can speak to us about it. We offer counseling, never forget that!

If you find this article helpful, don’t hesitate to share it with friends. Cheers!

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