Never let family stay with you: here is why. They can ruin your family.

by Onyinye Ogbuka
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Never let family stay with you. I looked in disbelief. Was this what was going on in my family, under my nose? I was numb, barely restraining myself from going crazy. He is going to pay, he will pay with his life.

Never let family stay with you … An heritage

In the second year of our marriage, God blessed us with our little bundle of joy called Chikamso. My husband and I were ecstatic to have a child to call our own.

We had families and well-wishers calling to congratulate us. We employed a nanny who could help take care of our child to lessen the burden as we are both career people.

Our bundle of joy grew up beautiful before our eyes. I was humbled to have given birth to such a wonderful girl and in three years, I took in and had our son, Chigozie. It was beautiful. As far as I was concerned, life was perfect. I had the most loving husband and the most wonderful children. 

Never let family stay with you … The advent of trouble

When my daughter was five years old, one of my husband’s cousin had to come stay with us. He had gained admission into the the state university where we resided.

I refused for him to come. We had agreed not to have any family stay with us. I also had a gut feeling I did not like but my husband was not going to accept my gut feelings for a reason. I had to accept my husband’s standpoint so peace would reign. 

The boy came over, I was wary of him at first. In no time, he had familiarized himself with my family. My little children looked up to him and I had some respite for myself. They saw him as a big brother and he didn’t waste time proving he was their big brother. My previous fears were allayed and I came to appreciate his presence.

Never let family stay with you/mildstrings
Never let family stay with you

Never let family stay with you… A smoke without fire

My husband was a doctor. He was often busy, I had to be the one to be there for our kids. It was nice that I had my husband’s cousin with them, sometimes I would leave them to rush off and do one or two things at the office.

One day, I came back from work and discovered my daughter was limping. I called her and asked her why she was limping whilst looking through her body. She said she fell while playing. I was relieved and applied balm to her leg to hasten the healing process.

The limping got worse and after a while, it stopped. I was relieved it had stopped. 

The book of remembrance

A year after my husband’s cousin had started staying with us. I went to my study upstairs to clear up the space. We had been piling junks there. I needed to clear the space for something sensible, I needed a reading space away from all the noise in the house.

As I was cleaning, I stumbled upon the computer system that connected to the CCTV. Wow, it’s been a while, I thought. I had forgotten we had a CCTV. My husband had insisted we get the CCTV due to all the bad things we’ve heard about nannies and what they do to children. We bought and installed the CCTV’S. However, we didn’t have a cause to check the camera because our previous nanny was good with the kids and they loved her. She loved them too. When she was about to leave, she shed some tears. I blinked away the sheen of tears in my eyes at the remembrance of that.

I continued clearing the space and I decided to clear the videos on the computer. The storage would be filled by now, I said to myself as I clicked on when it last updated. I had forgotten the password to the computer and had to check my phone.

When I was able to get the password, I logged in. I was about to delete all the videos but I was curious to see the antics of my children whenever I was away. I laughed out, I had funny children but I trust my husband’s cousin to keep them safe. My eyes fell on the one from last week and I clicked on it. The camera was placed in their room. I wanted to know all that my children did. 

Never let family stay with you.. Horror? Yes, your daughter.

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The camera started rolling and I saw my children playing in their room. Later my husband’s cousin named Wale came into the room and took my boy outside with his toys. He came back into the room and said something to my daughter. I wondered what he said but she took off her clothes and I watched in horror as Wale took off his clothes too. My daughter looked very excited. Wale bent down, picked up his trousers, dipped his hands into the pocket of his trousers and brought out a pack of chocolate for my daughter who tried to accept it eagerly. He grabbed her and from the expression on her face, she was giggling.

He carried her and laid her on the bed. It was as if my daughter knew what she was supposed to do. She spread her legs wide and Wale levered himself in between my girl’s legs and sunk his penis into her. He was thrusting into her while she held on to him with her small hands. When it seemed like he had gotten to his climax, his thrusts became harder before he released himself into my girl. He kissed her and my daughter returned the kiss eagerly. Who taught her how to kiss like that? Surely him. I thought.

When he was true, he laid down flat on their bed and had my daughter put his penis inside her mouth as she brought him to another climax. He gave her more chocolates and she grinned happily.  We had banned chocolate in the house especially for my daughter because she was always fond of wanting to eat them instead of food.

He wore his clothes and helped her wear hers too. Then my daughter brought my boy into the room and started playing together while Wale sat down and pressed his phone. 

Never let family stay with you …. Heart in a thousand pieces

I did not know when I started crying because I was heartbroken. My daughter had been destroyed and I was there all along. I wanted to know when this evil started so I scrolled down until I came to the year he started living with us. He didn’t do anything for the first two months, my lawyer’s mind said, “that is if he did not do it in their room”. He started coming into their room in the third month. I continued watching him practice different styles on my daughter and sometimes, he had his head down her privates and my innocent child would giggle.

I cried for an hour, I felt so terrible and inadequate as a mom, felt like a bad mom. Right under my nose, my child was being destroyed. She was doing things that adults would not dare do and she was introduced to it by her cousin. Someone I trusted. A family

 I had to think, I was going to ensure he spent the rest of his life behind bars. First things first, I will show my husband.

I stayed upstairs the entire time because I did not want to betray my emotions. In my head, I was plotting a thousand ways I would deal with this idiot.

Never let family stay with you… To catch a criminal

I called my husband and asked him to come home urgently. I told him when he is around the house, he should act normal and come upstairs. In thirty minutes, my husband was home, he came upstairs. When he saw my bloodshot eyes, he hugged me and asked what was wrong. I did not answer him, I disentangled myself from him, pulled another chair, and asked him to sit down. I made him promise not to shout or act out of control, he had to rein in his anger at all costs. He was getting worried, yet he promised me.

I played the video and shut my eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to watch it again. After a while, my husband suddenly stood up and I was quick to catch him by his shirt. He tried to push me off but I held firmly onto him and reminded him of his promise. I told him we had to think, to apply wisdom to what was happening. We had every evidence we needed. He seemed to calm down after a while.


We put our heads together and decided on what to do. 

My husband and went down together when we had been able to put our emotions under lock and key. We went to the sitting room where they were all seated and happily announced to them their grandma wanted to see them. The kids were happy. My husband and I made a show of putting their things in their bags and we took them to their granny’s place who was happy to accept them without knowing the real reasons.

We went back home and were left with Wale who was gallivanting all around the house. I went to bed with my husband but we could not sleep. By 7 in the morning, my husband had gone to the police station to bring policemen with him. I stayed back to keep a watch on the idiot. 

By 8, my husband had come through the entrance of the door with two police men behind him. Wale and I were sitting in the living room watching TV. Immediately my husband walked in, he lunged at Wale who was not quick to escape out of shock. My husband sent flying punches to his face before the police restrained him. By now, two of his front teeth had gone out and blood has filled up his mouth. He was scared still.


Wale was shouting and asking what he did. 

“Oh, you don’t know what you did”, my husband growled, “you don’t know, you can never know. A fool like you, I sheltered you, gave you food, and clothed you. I even assisted in sending you to school, yet this is how you choose to repay me; by raping my daughter. You this sick pedophile, You think I would not find out, that my wife and I would not find out. You will spend the rest of your life behind bars and you can forget about three hundred level because you are going to spend the rest of your life in jail.

Wale’s eyes widened, he denied it, and my husband laughed in derision and brought out his phone to show wale a clip of the video. When he saw it, he could not lie and started begging. The policeman holding him by the right slapped his mouth shut.

Never let family stay with you/mildstrings
Never let family stay with you

They handcuffed him and took him out. 

Emotional blackmail

Within a week the entire family knew. Apparently, Wale had bribed one of the officers to put a call to his parents.  

They called a family meeting and begged us to release Wale, but my husband refused. When they saw they could not convince us, they resorted to insults and started calling me a bad mom and my child, a prostitute. I could not hold it at this point, I broke down. My husband held me and was quick to assure me what happened was not my fault. It could have happened to anybody. I was glad about this. If my husband had joined them to criticize me, I would have been crushed and never been able to recover. We left the meeting amidst insults and verbal abuse. This left us with a stronger determination to seek justice for our child.

We sued Wale in court and he was found guilty and sentenced to 25 years imprisonment. 

My children came back and we shielded them from family. We moved to another house. They asked after their uncle and we told them he had traveled.

All of us except my son had to get therapy. With the help of a therapist, my daughter found out that what was done to her was wrong. I am glad she is fine now. We are fine too. We don’t maintain contact with my husband’s family but we’ve made tight friends that can stand in as family.


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