Your vulnerability after a devastating heartbreak can really make you fall into the arms of any available person, to unknowingly begin a rebound relationship that feels like real love and you begin to question how it happened since you are still getting over an ex.
Let’s face it we all need companionship, either young or old, we want to love and be loved, we all have emotions, even the strongest of guys and ladies also have or crave that one person that can make them lose guard and be drunk in love.
I believe it takes quite some time to actually decide or give your heart to someone and be in a sweet romantic relationship, from the talking phase to the consideration phase and finally the acceptance phase, this is always a memorable journey that is somewhat emotional, especially when things finally turned out to be sour.
When two people who were in love, who enjoys each others space and promise to be there forever decide to part way, what happens
Maybe for the woman, it could be a sober and sad moment for like 2-3 months, and for the guy, the sober moment might only last for a few days, but that is based on assumptions that women are much more emotional than men and they feel the hurts of heartbreaks for quite a long period.
I think the degree of hurt for most people depends on two things, the level of love and also the memories you both shared together.
That phase of getting over the heartbreak is always very terrible, and because of your vulnerability, it is easy for your to slip into the hands of someone who was emotional there for you during your healing process where you begin to see him or her as a great companion that you can spend time with and make you feel accepted.
Then you begin to develop an attraction towards him/her because you see similar attitudes in her that remind you of your ex. You draw your healings from those attitudes to suppress your hurts and just flow with her/him.
What is rebound relationship
It is very easy to get attracted to someone who helps you through your hard time when you are emotionally hurt and down.
That relationship you unconsciously enjoy with the girl or guy that kept you company while mourning your heartbreak is a rebound relationship which sometimes can feel like love
A rebound relationship always feels like love because you hurting from a previous relationship with someone you deeply and genuinely love, you both used to probably live together or share your time together. You have grown so attached and emotionally dependent on your ex for so long. The late-night calls, the way you play around each other, your weekly or daily routine, etc your brain has been wired to always be with your ex
You are probably the type who doesn’t make a decision without telling your partner, your ex-partner was a big part of your life either emotionally or sexually.
It is normal for your brain to start to seek another companionship in an attempt to get you to heal from your heartbreak so the girl or guy who kept you occupied during this process is your rebound relationship to get over your heartbreak
Signs of rebound relationship
There are certain signs that tell you that you’re in a rebound relationship
- The relationship is not always defined
- You get into it right after breaking up with someone
- The relationship is purely for companionship
- You engage in sexual activity without feeling guilty about it
- you feel secured and comforted around him/her
- You have no relationship intentions towards him/her, but you are suddenly catching feelings
- You enjoy his/her company
- You get flash backs of your ex sometimes when you are together
- Your relationship with him/her is hidden from your friends and family
- You don’t care about your ex anymore as you find comfort in him/her
Why do rebound relationship feel like love
A rebound relationship usually feels like love because of your current state of brokenness, when you are heartbroken or suffering from an emotional heartache you are vulnerable, you are hurting, you feel dejected, you can’t think straight, you feel the same hurt as if you are mourning a loss.
At that moment your heart craves for any and everything that can make you feel better, you want a listening hear, you want someone that can help you take your mind off the pain you are feeling. For some people when they are heartbroken they just want someone who can be there for them to heal and no one really does it better than the opposite sex.
So when that friend comes around and he listens, shows you love, and keeps you company you tend to transfer that affection you shared with the one who hurt you to them, it is just human nature, at that point you are not thinking of all the attributes that don’t qualify him to be your boyfriend, all you think about is how you went out together, how he cared for him, how he brought you dinner or lunch, how you have both been conversing on phones and the sweet traits he has that is helping you to feel good.
The good feeling you are feeling around him/ her is what feels like love to you
Does a rebound relationship work or lead to marriage
A rebound relationship can lead to marriage, the best time to know a person true character is when you are down, someone who was there to pick you up when you were hurting can be a great spouse, of course, there are some other characteristics you would need to tick before you make up your mind to get married to your rebound.
In most cases, a rebound might not be the kind of person you are naturally attracted to, maybe physically or financially, but that peace, love, care, and affection he or she brings you can be enough reason for you to want to spend the rest of your life with him or her
Although sometimes the affection might not be all that deep, it could be you just enjoying the moment and nothing serious or you might not be totally healed from your past relationship which might be a stumbling block for your rebound relationship to work.
For instance, the circumstances surrounding your heartbreak could cause you to be hard heartened where you just don’t want to love anymore or give room for love, this would determine if your rebound relationship will work
Love or marriage requires the effort of two people to work if your rebound is putting in the effort to show you love and be with you, while you on the other hand is not reciprocating it nor allowing your heart to love then your relationship won’t work nor lead to marriage
Steps to take to get over a rebound relationship (entanglement)
in situations where your rebound relationship doesn’t work out, it could turn out to be another case called entanglement, where you have something sexual to do with someone that is not defined.
You are not in a relationship but it feels like you are dating. Most times this kind of relationship can work if you both feel the same way about each other and the conditions are right for you(medically, religiously, ethnicity), although the man might not have asked you out, it just happens that you both like each other and there is a bond
In cases where the relationship is one-sided ie only one of the parties have a strong feeling where the other doesn’t have any romantic feeling or where you only have sexual attraction towards the other without feeling real love ( the kind of love that can make you spend the rest of your life with him or her), then you have to take serious steps to get over your rebound relationship so you can focus on the relationship you want to own
- Get a real serious relationship with someone who loves you
- Limit communication with your fling (rebound)
- Make your serious relationship public
- Focus on your new relationship by exploring and enjoying your new boo
- Avoid your rebound
- Avoid thinking about your rebound and focus on building new memories with your new relationship
- Don’t keep your rebound on the side as your confidant
It could also help to do some cleansing to end that phase of your life, before you start afresh, with someone new if possible take some time off relationships so you can know what you truly want in a relationship before starting a new one