How To Know When a Relationship is not working

by Ben Danor
Not getting attention of husband/mildstrings

When a car isn’t starting, we know something is not working. And just like that car, if your relationship is not working out anymore, it means that something has gone wrong. Do you want to know when a relationship is not working anymore? Stick around to the end of this article.

Let’s go back to the car example. You take a faulty car to a mechanic who checks it out and tells you what went wrong and how it can be fixed. This same measure can be applied to relationships. If your relationship is not working, the first thing to do is find out what went wrong and restart (a therapist should help you out with this).

End the Relationship or Save it?

Since it’s your relationship, you should be able to feel when things are going wrong. If you don’t, you both would need a therapist who will help you figure this out. They’re trained in that field and can easily detect what went wrong in your relationship.  A therapist will help you make the decision whether to save your relationship or end it.

After seeing a therapist, you can proceed to fix your relationship, that’s if it is not beyond repair. If it’s not something much, both of you should be able to fix it. If otherwise, it’s best you seek the services of an expert or break up if your relationship is beyond repair.

Sometimes, the best thing to do when a relationship is not working is to end it. However, some couples can have an open conversation and work it out. 

Assess your relationship and see what fits the relationship, a break-up? or a second chance? Don’t force a relationship that is not working except your partner wants it to work. 

In any relationship you are, ensure the love is not one-sided. Can two walk together except they are agreed? This article aims to reveal clear signs that your relationship isn’t working.


When a relationship is not working

How To Know If a Relationship Isn’t Working

Do you have doubts about your relationship? Do you feel it is not working out and might not work out? Worry yourself no more; here’s how to know if a relationship isn’t working. 

1. Your Communication is Nothing to Write About

When a relationship is not working, communication is the first thing affected. You don’t feel that vibe and energy to call or text your spouse, and they also feel the same way. Even when you eventually chat each other up, maintaining a conversation becomes a problem. 

You don’t even know how it all started; you only know that both of you have not been communicating like before. The few conversations you’ve had have always ended in violence, arguments, and fights. 

You start noticing that you can go for days without talking with them, and you tend to have more peace of mind when you don’t chat with them than when you do. These are indicators that the relationship is not working. 

A breakdown in communication poses a risk to your relationship. Couples tend to go through a lot when the communication is affected. 

2. You Don’t Feel That Emotional Connection Anymore.

Do you notice any change in the way you see your partner? Do you still feel that emotional connection or have you lost it? If you don’t feel attached to your partner, unlike before, it could be a sign that your relationship is not working. 

As odd as it sounds, some people see their partners as friends. They have lost that emotional connection, and efforts to revive it have been futile. The Intimacy is absent, they might be staying together, but Their hearts are definitely somewhere else. 

You start to notice that you don’t find your partner anymore, nor are you intrigued to be with them. The feeling of indifference when they are around you creeps in. You don’t even miss their presence anymore. This means the relationship is not working. 

When you have sex with them, you don’t feel that connection. Everything looks casual. It is like sleeping with a random person. If you experience these signs, it is a sign that the relationship is not working.  

3. Your Goals Don’t Align

If you are in a relationship where your goals, and plans don’t Align, and no party is ready to reach a compromise, it is a sign that the relationship is not working. 

If you check out Relationships that are working out, parties involved have similar goals and reach a compromise anytime they find it hard to make a decision that will favour both sides. That means they are striving to make it work. 

If you are in a relationship where no party is ready to Experience a little discomfort for the sake of the other, the relationship is not worth keeping.

It is a big sign that the parties involved are not ready to make sacrifices for the relationship to work. If the relationship is worth it, they would have concluded. 

4. Someone Else is Keeping Your Company

Your partner should always be that person who brings a smile to your face and keeps you company. If you’re enjoying someone else’s company and the person is not your significant other, that is a sign that something is wrong. 

Your relationship is not giving you the amount of joy and happiness you desire; a third party is already giving you these things. This should tell you that the relationship is not working.

If it is, your partner would be your major source of joy; you don’t have to look for other people to satisfy your cravings. If this is not properly managed, cheating can set in. 

When you give third parties too much access to your life and your relationships, the consequence is usually cheating. If someone gives you something you don’t get from your significant other, you keep going there for more. You might get tempted to do what they want. 

If you notice these things, it means the relationship is not working. You don’t derive pleasure from each other, you already prefer your partner to that third party. 

Instead of cheating, why don’t you discuss it with your partner? You can decide to make the relationship an open relationship. You never can tell, they might buy that account. If you feel you can’t do that just, you can easily quit the relationship. 

5. You Fight Almost Every Time

Couples fight in relationships and marriage, and that is not strange to anyone. Sometimes, these fights make them better people as they amend their ways. 

However, if the fight is every time, that is a big red flag! If these fights happen every time and can last for weeks, it is an indicator that something is wrong with the relationship. 

If things are getting violent, it is best to leave such a relationship or try to communicate with your partner in other ways. 

When a relationship is not working
My boyfriend doesn’t listen to me

Things to do When a Relationship is Not Working

Do you feel the relationship needs a break? Are you planning on what to do next to revive the relationship? This segment of the articles will guide you on steps to m

take when a relationship is not working. Here are two things to do when your relationship is not working

1. Talk it out with your partner

If your relationship is not working, talk it out with your spouse. Hear their views about the relationship. Are they okay with the way things are, or are they ready to make a change? 

Their reply would give you the next line of action. If you notice they are very interested, you can both decide to give it another try. Some people tried having a dialogue, and this option saved their relationship!

Anne, 23 ” My boyfriend and I had a failing relationship, and the ship was about to wreck; we were on the verge of breaking up. 

One day, I suggested we have an open conversation before we both go our different ways. Scheduling an open conversation with my partner remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. That dialogue gave our relationship a new life. Today, we’re married with two adorable kids”

Have a conversation about the problem and how it can be fixed with your partner. 

2. Seek a Therapist

Sometimes, you need an expert to help you sort out your relationship issues. If you have the money, you can hire an expert. 

Since that is their field, they can tell you whether breaking up is a great idea or not. If there are other ways you can sort it out, they are in the best position to decide. 

You can both book an appointment with a relationship coach. This is the best time to discuss your fears, mistakes etc., and look for a way forward. 

Final Words

As we come to the end of this article, I belong by now; you already know if your relationship is working or not. 

Always keep this in mind, do not force a relationship that isn’t working, just let them be. Not all relationships will work out and lead to marriage.

According to statistics, 50% of marriages in the United States eventually end in divorce. This is a confirmation that it is normal to have relationships that don’t work out. 

Some are meant to teach us lessons that would help our future relationships. If the relationship is not working, let it be. Channel your energy into your new relationship and how to make it better than the previous relationship.  

How do you know when a relationship is not working? Have you ever quit one because you felt it was not working? Please share your stories with us in the comments section. 

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